Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Unjust

hmmm, why can't i be a lil fantic. its only kelly and yahh, i really admire her, so what. mum always control me so much. look>>

ty: mum, can i go pls...? i have been good, do well for ALL my work, so pls...\?
mum 1st reply: no.
ty: pls.
mum 2nd reply: no means no.
ty: but only once a year, very long then i can go for such event and i got study, nv fail, do well academically, nv bully sister, study hard... so plss...
mum 3rd reply: no. or else u nv will have the chance...

*and always after very very much persuasion...*

mum: ok i give u a choice. this one or the following one. ONLY CAN CHOOSE ONE.

oh well. why why why\? why cannot go for both. anyway this will be ending very soon. so why? why so much control.

ty protest: pple f my age all can make decison and go out till dunno what time...
mum: go lorr. u go le dun call me forever. pple mother got money thats their problem and u are my son. i gave birth to you so u HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME. what make your decision. no. everything must ask me.
ty: this is ridiculous. i go toilet also must ask.
mum: yes you must. then even one day you go rob pple also your own choice la?
ty: no lorr. dun be mad. this got NO regard with the places i request to go.
mum: there is. its your own choice mahh.

ty: dun talk to me now.

oh well. it is a totally piece of shit. i feel like packing and just leave. i say she threaten me not to call her mum if i go. and she say if i say her threaten me, dun bother to call her. what rubbish. i just feel like living my life. HEY ITS MY MY MY life. just go watch also cannot.

but if i go, also dunno go where. where? ohh.. i knoww. one person will definitely give me a place to stay. yes. and she will be very glad to keep me. *i hope sooo =X* ok. cannot say who. in case if i go one day, dun want you all find me!!!

i just as dad if he can fetch me home. kena another round of scholding for other things. theni told him everything and he say he can fetch me. so i hope mum can base on this let me go. i dun want to miss kelly's performance.

hmmm was talking to j2 bout other stuffs. and tild j2 everything, so was like.. -_-" i really dunno.. how should i say this? j2 told me to be back myself.. so.. i dunno.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
KELLY

wow. long time since i update. today is totally on KELLY!.

oh well. it all started since i added her and she accepted me. ^^ so lovely. then i went for her final result show. of course i rush to make her poster in class and late in the night, but it all pays! seriously, i enjoy doing her poster more than doing my design model. lol.

*well, i know today i have diasppointed elaine and banya for not being able to complete my model on time but sorry, i am going to be back myself soon and i will prove myself. but today i am so sorry. i did not meant this to happen. perhaps got too carried away by kelly.*

ok. back to topic.

and in the results show, of course the eye contact with her and our gambatte hand sign is so memorable. oh i just dunno how to describe in words. and i am so lucky! got her to sign big on the poster i made for her. and she said harlow of course i melted. the feeling of 'hey, i think i rmb u' is there. perhaps she saw my picx on friendster.

then towards the meet up today! in sp! i was late cos need to do som stupid survey. shucks. cannot get her to sign on my cd. but nvm. i was repaid/rewarded with something better>>>

i saw vincent and doreen *oh yah they are my new made friends in results show and till now, meeting a few times only but with same interest, we can considered to be very good friends* but lost them. then saw weifu and he was interviewed by channel u! hehe. then they announced that KELLY will stop signing. sadd. but went near her minibus and saw weilian in the minibus. and i walk next to KELLY to her bus. very very close cos i am standby at that place le. her smile is just so sweet! and when up in the bus, of course i am front and waved, took picx and gambatte for her! she is so nice. so cute! and spent some time in front the bus trying to communicate with her through the glass window. and think maybe she remember me again. cos i took out the poster i made and show her the gambatte sign! yes, from the energy in her eyes, i see that she somehow rmb me. hehe. i hope so!

and just now i finally decided to add her in msn. so see first lor. cos i was soo afraid to add her in the first place is because dunno how should i talk to her if she online. but nvm. i am prepared for any situation. so yea!

and i went to chase KELLY the whole day. *lets not talk about the sad and bad things here.* hehe. when to fanclub meeting and was ok lor. weifu, vincent, doreen, vivi and me decided to confirm our membership in KFC and we will be the cheer leaders in final showdown, which means we will be at the front and high, much more higher chance to be seen on teevee. and me and vincent got a more imprtant role. for the club, for ourselves, we are honoured to be designing the FC tee shirt and it must be done within 2 days. lol. try! for KELLY's sake!

lastly, KELLY jia you! *gambatte* and remember me as well.!

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Friday, August 12, 2005
Jin.

thanks. i owe u too much. sorry. for not being able to visit you. sorry, for everything. call me when u really need me. i am ready anytime. all i can say is maybe it is not successful here. but i will be different there. thanks~

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Tuesday, August 09, 2005
About.

today was a long day. i did not sleep to finish up with my 8oo words essay on love language. i finished my research but haven started on the essay!

national day! i am red! haha. fireworks display! i love it. mobile display of the saf. i love it too. anyway, i will blog about the detail event in the next entry later.

here is a personality test i just did. read it.

yilong = idealist.

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

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Monday, August 08, 2005
Gone.

oh well. it is the third saturday le. still no contact or any reply. i am sad. really it is the end? so dead. *i think i have gained a lil weight after having eating so much since then*

but luckily i was able to so call 'get over it'?! i dunno. i pratically lost my soul and was sick for bloody 2 weeks. every saturday i awaits... nothing comes, i delete something off my hp. yeterday was mad. almost all was gone. =X

zui1 shu2 xi1 de4 mo4 sheng1 ren2. haiya. i scolded myself 'what the f***' issit because of my last message that i sent? perhaps. it is because of me.

never mind. i kept all these thoughts in the empty bottle. i am throwing it to pluto. it will all fade as time pass.

i am me again. but sometimes do not blame me for being sad. just let me reminisce a lil.

oh yah. i have to thank my sour kopi panda. haha. make me laugh. lol. no comments.

ohh haha. i have to put in this joke here. so funny!
*sour kopi panda's display picture was a panda. my display picture was bamboo...
panda: hungry, i am so hungry, i have no bamboo...
bamboo: nehh nii nehh nii poo poo, u cannot catch me!

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Sunday, August 07, 2005
Messy.

haiyo. i am so bloddy irritated. again my sister got the tickets to superstar semi finals. but the tickets is for the silver supporters catergory. meaning if i go, i need to sit in with silver's supporters and wear their color code.

it is not that i dun like silver or what. but all know that i am a super kelly fan. so i just wanted to be a pure kelly fan. *oh yah i join kelly's fan club le!! heh!* i failed to get tickets from the fan club because we are only given 30 tickets. more i am a lil late. lol.

so what is the verdict\???? I DECIDED NOT TO GO LE! lol. i am siao le. but i at least i am a pure kelly fan! =]

i will be early next time i promise and i will sure get the tickets to the last semifinals! i dun care!!!!! and i will be going to the finals!!! bleah!

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Saturday, August 06, 2005
Story.

ps: people!! let me tell u all that other than chatting or leaving a note in my tagboard, you can now leave a comment or your thoughts on my entries too. i have added this new function just below my every entry! do u see the 'your views? or sometimes '[number] view(s)'? just click on it and you can say anything about the entries =] happy reading.

hmm. let me tell a story today...

"once upon a time, in a huge and vast country, there was a princess who was very beautiful. Because the princess was pretty and wise, princes came from all over the world to seek her hand."

"finally, five prince was left in the final round. in order to choose the best match for her, she decided to give a test. she hid her right hand and unfolded one finger. the five princes had to guess which one it was. and the final one guessed it. they crossed their pinky. so that sign came to represent a vow of marriage. the prince and princess couldn't have been happier."

"but then the crusades began and the prince had to go to war. the prince promise to came back alive,crossing his pinky with hers. but ten years passed, and the prince did not return. she did not even know if he was still alive."

"but since the princess was still so pretty, many people came to ask her to re-marry.she ketp saying no, believing that he would return., but she couldn't turn them down anymore. so she decided to marry a man whojoinedpinkies with her."

"one day, a filthy begger can to the palace. everyone they to get rid of him, but the princess called him in, saying that everyone deserves a chance. the begger was her lost prince."

"the truth was, the prince had been killed on his way home. the soul of the dead must depart after 49 days. that day was the 49th day. in order to keep his promise, the prince returned as a ghost."

"finally the princess found the body of the prince. she laid next to him and drank the bottle of poison."

how beautiful a story yah?! does it sounds familar too. haha go guess it. ^^

it is my favourite story. adapted from some where in a story.(story form a story. get it?) but actually there are more touching parts to it. i have like seen it for the 8th times. now i am seeing it again while i type this. hahaa. it always moved me close to tear. never fail. and the first time i really did. lol. *so malu things i also tell. -_-*

i am really touched. how lovely this story ended. they are so much in love but heaven too one away. the other one attempt sucide. too many times, but never succeed. from different world again? that why they can never be together? even die together? *reminds me of my previous entry on the previous story*

i never know love enough. i also dun really want to know or experience it. it is so cueul. so scary. i dun even know if i really love those people i love. dun even mention it the other way round. just a failure at it. haa. but i love myself!

how much can experience a love that startle even the universe? never me.

its so funny. at the same time i am researching on LOVE too. *for a project* i know it. but i dare not face it.

aiya.dun wanna carry on with this le. it is so saddening. just cannot face it. i lose.

another one of my favourite on my blogskin i design>>:
i must've been with in my previous life...
i want to be as free at the wind...
when i am not around, if you feel the wind,
that will be me...
i want to become the wind again...

yes. that one really return back to being the wind.

i want to be the wind too. but when the people i love feel wind, will they be reminded of me? how about you? or will i ever be forgotten. since the day i turn to wind. again, i think i lose.

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Pass.

another passer by in life?

was in the train just now and one is stealing glance over in this direction. i recipocated and this goes on till one went off. hahaa. this is interesting.

from the time we are in the train till one gets off. one's glance made me dare not fell asleep. but, i still did. oh my god. so when i am asleep, one had been looking over, oh i must be so ugly then. or i think too much le larr.

one is really very familar. perhaps on is just a passer by in life. will see tomorrow.

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Monday, August 01, 2005
Repeat.

let history repeat itself again. two years ago, back in 5th of september. my close friend had decreased. i dun wanna replay all that in my mind again. i will stop here. FOR THE FIRST TIME I WILL NOT BLOG MUCH!. that's all.

primer 3 is here! so stressed!

** thous left @ 12:20:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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.the guy.
label. tan yilong
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date. 31'st august 88
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