Sunday, October 30, 2005
人生

人是最可怕的动物。因为它有思想，他有感情，这些都会影响他的每个举动。

先说思想。人类有智商，会思考、有主见。这也就分辨出了大家的特点，亦称人类的态度、看法或见解。这些特点组合起来，反映了我们的效应，勾起心理的一些不平静，也所谓感情。

快乐，悲伤，愤怒与嫉妒，组成了我们的情绪。有些人说心情，是自己选的。要快乐，就别想伤心的事，尽情享受自己。悲伤时，别把心情隐藏起来，痛恨的大哭一场，让心情失空点。

世上有许多为何。为何我是这样子的呢？就为何。没答案，或许就天书知罢了。人生发生的许多事有快乐也有不愉快。可是我们总是爱选择不开朗的那一面。往令一个方面想想，我们也可以快乐啊。只要心情放开点，凡是多往好的方面想，乐观点就对了。

其实很多事都很容易就理解了。为何要把它们看得那么困难呢？好好问问自己。到底要的是什么？不必想得太深。

或许遇到了一些错则吧。不要一直想负面的事嘛。不好的事，就抛在脑海后嘛，把眼放高一些，期待更好的明天。它一直都在等着你！

就此，我也一样，自己经历过很多事情。大多也不愉快啊。但我却一直坠落可恶悲伤的坑洞里。觉得有点失败。但在写着东西时，我也在思考着。对了，我应该要开心嘛。我的生命是多么的完美。有许多人在我身旁。也有你，就快乐。这也让我更加珍惜每一个人。

生命是短暂的。我要好好的过这一生！我不要你只是成为我生命里的过客。我就曾经失去过我的好朋友，就像织女离牛郎。我实在不能承受这种打击。太痛苦了，所以不要星没月作伴。

就算好友，伴侣火过客也罢。我都一切重视。

谢谢大家出现在我的生命里。我太爱大家了。跟爱自己。哈哈。开玩笑啦。你的可爱快乐，你也要开心。送上祝福。

被再说这些了。哈哈。好累哦！期待每一天的到来。还有，大考要到了哦，你们要加油！我在为你们打气！

世界在转动，从不分那夜明。
时间在飘浮，从不为谁停留。
朋友在周围，从不忘记有我。
有了你我，日子都不觉得难过。

当你快乐，请来找我，和我一起。
但你难过，请来找我，让我陪你。
你快乐所以我开心。

** thous left @ 12:52:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
你快乐所以我开心!

就是如此。

人生就是个悲剧。而我们的责任就是要让自己生活在快乐之中。成功或失败，也只能靠个人的毅力咯。我也就好好的担任我做人的责任来让自己开心，用快乐瓶盖在悲伤上面。

先说昨天的事吧。对了，就和我的两个好朋友一起去圣淘沙。玩乐一整天，分享时光就如快乐无比。想想看还觉得自己其实还满幸福的。认识5年能拥有两个这么完美的好朋友，友情从来不变！在昨天的外出也拍了许多照片来记号另一段美好的回忆。过后当然就去约会啦。完美无瑕的一整天就这么结束了。

现在大家都在大考，我会为你们而祈祷的！加油，听到吗！

我还是相信有幸福永远的。我也会让你再次相信的。明白哦。

到此为止。没心情继续下去了。等待好漫长噢。上午一点了。最后，你快乐所以我开心!

** thous left @ 12:34:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Sunday, October 16, 2005
Yilong.

yes. it has been long since i update till now. partially because i am busy, but certain things, i dont feel like blogging too.

many things took place in this period of my getaway from my blog. too much. i dont know where to start from either.

wait... WARNING! stop here if you do not want to read a super duper long entry.

firstly, everytime i come to my blog, it reminds me of jin. and i will feel so sorry and sad. although i have gotten over it, but that is only superficial. there is still a lil regret in my heart that can never be erased. the pain still do exist. on and off i dreamt of her.

i know of a friend who taught me that 'nothing is forever', and i idolise someone who also taught me that 'if u cant repay what u owe now, you will in the next life'. yes, indeed nothing is forever. just like jin and me are perhaps fated not to be friends in the same dimension. and what ever i owe her, i wonder when i will repay her.

well, i am contridicting myself again. one is when she decreased, i am her friend, and that will be for forever, i am always her friend and she's mine too. two is that let me owe her something and let she owe me something too. so this is never ending, my whatever life, there will always be a her. oh my god, what am i talking all about???

like the song in my blog, kelly sings that 'i dont like to be trapped here in the memories. where there is happiness, there will be sadness too. i try to face it and manage it, i can only accept this fate. you and me is already the past, why still try to see hope? but to forget also needs time and definitely, it will be someday...'

kelly worte this song and this is just so perfect. i like it very much. i like kelly as much too. i feels so sad everytime i listen to it. its too touching, too much feeling in it.

maybe my someday still not here for the moment.

i read my previous entries from very far back then. oh dear, i conclude that my life till this time is full of jealousy and especially sadness. because i never understand myself. i always guess me. i am stuck with those few friends around me and i dont know how to be friend with them, perhaps thats why i feels lonely and am always livng in my own world. maybe you always see me mixing around with lots of friends and maybe you see my circle of friends as very large, but all those are superficial. i can say that till now, no one knows me well enough, even myself.

sometimes i do things that i dont understand too. i just dont understand. i take this time to stop and look backwards. parhaps its my fate with people and the combination with my life, i am what i am today. and/or also perhaps i lose a great friend in life. plus my many failure in life.

failure. i am utterly disgusted by my failures. say studies, some might think that i did not bad, but they just dont know me, the stress i faced and my expectations. yes, i think i did not bad too but i always try to peak to the highest point. my expectations of me are very high. say me give myself too much stress, but looking at some better people, they are always at my top no matter how hard i try. but you know that studying and trying to be top of everybody can be very tiring.

i came in to the last class as my friends initially and we peak together and progress together that most went to the first but i am stucked in the middle. maybe a little better that i am above the average but they tasted the feeling of topping so many time and i only feel it once. once. pathetically once. and i thought that i can carry on in my strengths to improve myself, so i moved on but only found out that an average will always be an average.

lets reveal my results. primer one, i sorced an 'A+', two 'B+'s and a 'B'. primer two, i scored 2 'B+'s and two 'B's. i cling more towards the disappointment with myself. you might not see my education as a failure like my sister and cousin admires me for what i am, but i see so.

say swimming. i desire to swim for my country someday. but this can only, maybe forever, be a dream. i spent so much time in it. or perhaps determination wasnt enough, i failed again. so what if i am a life guard at this age. so what if i out win some/most people/friends with my breast and back stroke. i can never win my teammates. in the first place, do i belong to the team?

i am leave with no choice but to pause swimming for some finicial issues. or perhaps 100% determination in my eyes to become a national swimmer were not all present. i once lose three chances to strive in swimming. first is i joined the ssa team too late. or you can even say i am not part of the team. second is sports school doesnt want to accept my appication, or rather you can say that i chose not to repeat a year thus gave up swimming in sports school. third is that soon after i paused swimming, chances of proving myself and getting into a good swim club in a competition was lost. what else can i say for this failure.

even when i look at my school's swimming team now, no matter how much burning desire i have in wanting to join them, i just cannot bring up my courage to approach them. for fear, i deproved so much to date. i am not young anymore. i am 17 this year and sea games is in this year and olympics will be in 3 years time. i dont even dare to dream to be in team spore now, whats more being in the competitions. such a failure.

people relationship wise, i dont know how to manage them. i am poor at these. thats why i those considered very good ones, i treasured alot. very very much. annette, chandini, theresa, annice and jinjin are the big portion of happiness in my life. so much that no matter what i cannot dont have them. of course this also includes some others.

well, i should stop and not carry on with this. and this should not be the factors to bring me down, because if somedays this happens, i will become desperate and die off.

well, i was on a getaway from life too. and it was fun though may events took place. of which is that i lost my phone and i have to purchase a new one to forg out for the lost one. otherwise, no matter what's going to happen to be, will let me be better dead than anything.

i am in holiday too. although i feel free but i know time is not enough for me. i am not moving on. i could have spent time imporving studies, do my work, excel in swimming and all, but i am still not moving. i dont know where should i start. oh dear. too much things to do.

i start to fear. waiting for the results of primer 3 and 4. i know i did very badly for primer 3 and i can expect 'C's or even 'D's. but i pray hard for no 'C' or 'D'. i never get those two before. so please. no way!!! but i know i did well in primer 4. i have confidence but there will always be miricales. so please again, no 'C's or 'D's!!!

i just recently celebrated a deity's birthday. this major event that i am in have been for years. and this one this year have made me more holy. taoism in me rocks!!! and i am pleased that i am one of the diciple of deity i believe in. for my deity, i carry on to live strong! and now that it is just over, and i have eaten 2 weeks of vegetarian foods, it is the celebration for dinners time, lasting 8 days. hooray! regarding this deity and the birthday celebration, i will update in the next entry.

well, there is too much for me to blog! i am still not done but it is 3.04AM IN THE MORNING NOW!! let me rest and i shall carry on someday ok. all the best, yilong!

** thous left @ 1:46:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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.the guy.
label. tan yilong
gender. boii
age. 17 years old
date. 31'st august 88
email. tylong28@yahoo
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