Monday, December 26, 2005
Xmas~

oh, merry belated christmas to all. well, hope all you people's wishes come true~

well, i had been working the day before (christmas eve) and yesterday (christmas day). -_- lol. christmas eve was boring. like i say, i got to work till 7pm and then i dunno where to go. then when working, i have nothing to do. because i am alone *one life guard only* and its like no people go swimming! i celebrated my first christmas with the swimming pool water and the beach and the sand only lo-alone.

just sometimes see a few people walking past, some having dinner around.. and guess what? i saw something that made me go @.@~ i saw two guy holding hands strolling, by the way, their parents are sitting at the resturant behind them. i realised that they are not brothers because both their parents are there. -_- god, maybe people in the club are more open.

well, no people jio me lo, so i caught "a blessed christmas" on teevee mobile. wow. what a tiring day. christmases in the past are always happi or just alright. but this year i felt so me and myself only.

christmas day was alright. i managed to waste 8 hours sitting by the pool side stoning and doing nothing much. thanks to jason tan! i met him there, in the club with his family! yea! finally someone talked to me. he accompanied me frong 5pm plus till 6pm plus. hehee. otherwise i am really going to the mental hospital for talking to myself. we chatted lots of things! from his studies to council to everything i could thought of. heh heh.

i thought that it was christmas and so i decided to bring myself to harbourfront centre to walk after work which is like 7pm plus~ alright, it is damm boring. something is missing. the day i started sitting by the pool side, i am thinking. i thought of the past, and looked at those prints. i felt so blank.

aiya. i just admire some of the bloggers. *well, i read their blogs, livejournal, or blogspot. but they dont know. cos it was link from friends. but i wont tell you who. maybe its your frined! hehe* well, their live is like so happening! all like always going on dates. and their comment box or tag board is always to happening too. lol. i am so so so envy.

err, i dont really understand why. since that incident, i am like have never ever known you. dont have to be so cruel right. few months later then u ask how i am. days i have sent you greetings in all forms, and i felt like i am hollow man. oh. fine~ this is so demoralising. i feel as though i am being brought back to that time, and am freeze down there, never to move on. bad christmas. perhaps i am blessed but am not bliss.

then on from that time, i became more holy. i go temple very often, to find peace in my soul. or i will just look at those prints again to seek comfort. -_- bad year. i dun like 2005. let it past and be gone. sometimes i just feel like going back to malaysia to my grandmother's place and start a new life there. at least i know that living there will be very much better for me! but i cannot leave the four. annechan especially!

well, new year is coming and i think its going to be alright. *finger crossed, hopefully!* i just hope everything will be smooth and great for me in the new year! wishes to annechan and you guys too!

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Friday, December 23, 2005
happi~

wednesday i went out with my beloved annette and chandini to celebrate the princess's birthday (belated).

it was a so so so wonderful day to see them and we definitely had a great time. firstly we strolled to fareast, just to have lucnh at long john silver. -_- then we strolled to paragon of some xmas shopping. along the way, we saw something that facinated the princess so much. guess what it is? its just a xmas tree. -_-"

then we went to civic plaza to take many pictures!!! haha.

initially annette thought she grew taller cos it seems like she and chan share the same height. *omg, she's gonna slap me for saying that!* but look at the picture...


and this means we see camels. *camel camel~*


i thought i love them so much! and do you know that...


... annette seems to understand their language...


when i am gone, chandini tries to flirt with the camels. omg, look! she kissed them, like i did!! *opps, another slap.*


so i decided to tackle the sheeps and of course i will pull the yang meh meh (annette YANG) along.


in ngee ann city, i see this huge xmas tree. haha.


we walked around till we prepare a surprise for annette! haha. *at tt time when i left to prepare, she thought i stucked in the toliet bowl and even went to search for me. *awww, so touched!*

and chandini brings her to the stairs, she saw...
her cake!


what a surprise. me and chandini had a difficult time to settle down the excited sheep to take a picture. and finally...


we are very happi. and i insist that we should sing a birthday song to her! heh heh~

"haha, i am NOT sharing this with you!"


ARGH UMMM..


and the the two i love so so so much... god, they so pretty right!


we had a so memorable day out! missed that day so much.


and when we celebrate, we of course never forget the sheeps and camels.


dont we look so cutee in this picture? hahaa. i love it so much!


next will be chandini's turn! haha. soo. 27th of december. yea, we will be out again! hurray.

then after the mini celebration, i went to meet kaihong and jinsoon. lol. what a day.

thursday i slack at home until evening, i travel all the way to school for swimming training. -_- instructor hinted me to go livesaving. hahaa. they need people for competition lo. maybe i need to ask yj about it first.

after training, i took my own timings. omg! i deproved so much! simple 100 metres breaststroke took me two minutes. i need to start training. or esle i better go die~

today i rush all my work. haiya. in the end still cannot submit all. they simply gave us too much work to do! how can we complete all in such a short week. holy shit. i need a rest now.

upcomings...
24th dec : *tomorrow, christmas eve* working at keppel club. *slacks~*
25th dec : *christmas day* still working at keppel club. *sobs*
29th dec : meet 3sa for dinner. *yeaa!*
31st dec : *new year eve* still got to work at keppel club. *double sobx*
3rd jan : school starts. *sheesh* critique! hmptf~

haiya. so sad. no people wanna date me out! why why. i working until 7pm only. any people wanna jio this cute boii out? *hehe.*

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Update.

alright. these few day i refused to blog until today. and i will say a little about the pass few days. so this IS DEFINITELY a long entry.

friday. wow. elaine finally came back from her long leave. i was extreamly worried for her! knowing that she is coming back, that night i stayed up late just to do a great big A3 sized card for her. its 4 pages. it costed me the weeks allowance but its alright as long its for her.

she is back! and she is pregnant! her baby is already 3 months in her body. but i was still worried for her, even till now. she got a tumor in her stomach and that tumor is growing faster than her baby! the tumor has also given her threats of miscarriage!

if the baby is able to grow bigger faster, it can stop the growth of the tumor. but danger is still present as when the baby forms human shape and started kicking, there is a possiblity of the baby kicking the tumor resulting in severe pain.

she said that there are two type of woman. one is those who will feel the pain of the tumor and the other is those who wont feel the pain as the growth of the baby neutralises the pain of the tumor. she hope she is the 2nd type. i hope so too.

althought woman are better in withstanding pain but just by imagining the double painness that elaine will have to suffer from the baby and the tumor sent chills down my spines. i can only pray for her. i hope she will be alright and give birth to a cute baby!

think positively! she will be alright. but just have to be more careful. we will all look after her. =]

this is the card that i made for her!
cover:


2nd page:


3rd page:


last:


and she look as lively and radiant as ever!


saturday. i was so bored so called my cousin to go out with me. actually went to orchard to look for jinsoon but always cannot see him at his work place! hmptf~ then strolled to ps and travelled to compass point too look for my scented liquid.

on the way i was thinking very deeply. i remembered that last time i would usually take that purple line to meet that person. how i rush of straight after school to catch the trains... i felt sad. then i thought of other things. i remembered that last time i took red line to go that place to see her but now she is missing. and i also took red line for that other purpose. i felt sad again. haix.

at compass point. too bad. they never sell that liquid le. -_- went popular and saw desmond. then took bus to elias and i had my hair cut! yes people say cut hair equals cutting away your troubles. wow! i feel better after that knowing that i look so handsome now. *siam people throwing things*

sunday. just a normal day. went to my workplace with yan jun and he brief me on the working details. well, i will be working on christmas eve, christmas day, new year eve and new year day. sad. cos no people call me go out. -_- anyway i work till 7pm. so maybe still can go countdown? anyone? then head down to my class steamboat at bincent's place. as if we are family having reunion dinner =] so happi. we had a great time! playing all together and we celebrated jolene's birthday too. we should have another session again!


monday. went to school for the annual dinner and dance meeting. well, i was late and gave some stupid excuses. i am doing logistics, so it means to design door gifts, preparing quotations for entertainment and blah. it is confirmed that we are doing it at swissotel! and the committee is qiven a room on that day. *hmmm, thinking what should i wear that day!* the organising committee members are supposed to do a perfomance so we all agreed on a dance. as our theme was moulin rouge, we are doing something similar to the cancan style. hehee. how interesting.

after meeting, we stayed to do painting for the banners. and we watched moulin rouge at the same time with lionel's laptop. i never really watch it though.

then rushed down to kelly's chalet. saw so many people there. althought i will not be staying overnight, i need to pay $20 too. wtf. kelly was supposed to reach by evening time. but she messaged to tell that she will only be able to make it by 11 - 12 pm plus. -_- we waited and waited.

celebrated benson's birthday. xin hui and nicholas *from staridol* did came. and i saw someone! its that person! i read his blog. i was like 0.0 wanted to go up and say harlow as initially i remembered him as my online friend, then i realised that i was his blog reader. so luckily i did not embarrassed myself!

at 12.30pm, kelly messaged and say that she will reached by 1.30am i was totally @.@ no choice, zhenxu's mother is waiting at home and i also never call home. so we have to go. shared cab home. zhenxu and me was so sad. very very sad. we waited so terribly and in the end could not even say harlow to her. we should have gone home in mrt early instead. *sobx*

today. wow.i read 3sa's journal. and i organised some pictures too. annette sent me ythis picture that time.



its all the pressies i have given her. =] i am so touched. she kept all them so well! she even dont want to eat the chocolates. aiyo gal... i buy you more chocolate next time okay?! ^^

i missed going out with my two princesses. whenever i am out with them, i feel so super duper great! i love you all man!



we are going out tomorrow. yeah! celebrates~

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Thursday, December 15, 2005
Annette.

oh look at the time now. i blog at the most beautiful time. its 12.34am now! haha. it is also my dearest ANNETTE YANG's birthday! oh here's one for you:

祝你生日快乐。
祝你生日快乐。
祝 慧仪 生日快乐。
祝你生日快乐。

smiles and cheers. it is great now reflecting what we have been through all these years since i know this lady here. together with chandini. it just reminds me of that time we used to say that we celebrate birthdays everyday, so we give each other pressies everyday! hehee. how memorable.

now its this lady's turn to grow older, and soon it will be chandini's turn. lets mark this special and wonderful day as the celebration for our everlasting friendship too! cheers~

yeah. will be dating this two lovely lady again next week, but will need to crack my brains to think of places to go! so where??? haha.

i am so happi today. in fact i will be exceptionally happi until 27th this month! because this is the period of celebrations for the two! no matter what is so hurting or sad, all this celebrations just heals everything! so let join in the fun people! *cheers to annette again!*

hey girl! as a reward, me and chandini will grand you a wish! name it! hehee. *but dun tell me do stupid things or do things that will make me not handsome any more ok.*

most people i have known are just passerby-s of my life. it is just how long you stay or how fast you leave. but this two are the special stars that are never the passerby. they belong to MY life! just like i belong to theirs. =] they can never not be around. if that happens, that will be the day i die!

i love annette!
i love chandini!
i love yilong!

and again... HAPPI 17TH BIRTHDAY TO ANNETTE YANG! happi happi!

--------------------------------

alright. it has been long since i last update. lets start from sunday. yeap, i went to temple the whole day! it was great for me to serve my god. i enjoy the day very much. going to all the same temple all around singapore. that was great. the next time i do this will be next year le.

and oh yah. i definitely need to say this. at night, when going back to temple, all was ready when the sedan started shaking so violently! at times the two sedan almost knock onto each other.

*p/s: the sedan is carried by 8 and/or more. always shaking left to right, right to left as we run. very dangerous, but that is the power of god!*

then at one point, one of the guy fall. i thought the guy who fall did something wrong so god punished him. and true enough, he fall because the chain on the sedan broke off.

*p/s: when we carry the sedan, we must be very 'clean' and no woman are supposed to touch the sedan at all.*

that was fixed immediately, very fast, and the sedan goes shaking and running about again. well, i almost carry it again. missed it. beacuse xiaohua was dragged by the uncle to shke the sedan. then he know he cannot do it so he actually wanted to pull me to do it instaed, but too bad, i did not know that and walk to the side.

looking at these, it reminds me of one to two months ago, when i carried the sedan. first timer! it was definetely heavy and i was so blessed and i did not fall or hurt myself because i was very 'clean' never touch woman and ate vegetarian food for weeks. unlike some ah bengs who went along, hehe, THEY DONT DARE TO TOUCH THE SEDAN. not because the were not 'clean' but it was because of fear. at first i also dont dare, but my uncle scolded me and told me that i cannot be scared of god's sedan. so he push me to shake it! haha. and i enjoy it now.

afterall, now i am an experienced one already and i will be a member next year. so i will upgrade my tee shirt from the committee to the sedan chair team tee shirt. *oh by the way, i am in the temple committee group.*

well, enjoyable day!

monday was submission. i was sick. but rushed. after school i went dating with fiona. and we had a long long long great chat of everything! that was great. someday i will date her again! =]

then tuesday was critique. i was totally freaked off. luckily its serene and shen who crit-ed me. and it was not bad! i am so glad! serene and shen thought that i do it in a too professional way like i am working. but what they want is for me to explore. so yea. i just need to explore and when i work as an interior designer, i can do what i did. thank god.

and afte that, fiona taught me new stuffs. she sort of became my new lecturer. =] she taught me theory of music. hehe. it was fun and i enjoy learning everything! yes. i aspire to learn it well and be like her someday if i can! ^^

wednesday. tiring and i forgotten that i had brand design class today. luckily fiona reminded me! hehe. i always feel sad because i dont know people in my class. the lecturer did not do any introduction with the class. i am so disappointed. like i want to know everyone lo. i will try to bah!

and i will end here for today! cheer~

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Saturday, December 10, 2005
Blank.

my life recently have so many happenings. and this entry is for my memories de.

thursday morning i try to take bus 19 at 7.07am sharp. but never see that person. missed it. try again friday bah. then afternoon i went to co-op with fi. talked to someone. hehe.

me: wei, 你 block 别人 de way 了 la.
fi: oh, 对不起。
someone: oh, 不用紧 la.
-HAPPENING: choose cup noodle-
me: haha, sorry, excuse me.
someone: 不用紧. bye bye la. =]
me：bye bye~ =]
fi: bye bye. =]

oh well. hehe. then in the evening, after swimming, i chatted with one of my classmate. so guess we will joing lifesaving together bah. then i rush down to design school annual dinner and dance committee meeting. hee, i am late so kimiko had a seperate meeting with me. *i am back to doing events again -_-*

friday morning i saw bus 19 drove past at 6.58am sharp. never see that person so i guess should be in bus 21. one went of le, came the second one. that person inside but i never see. haha, quickly took bus 37 to one stop before interchange, i ran all the way to interchange. *the bus driver like taking his own sweet time.* so i am lucky to catch the train at 7.04am sharp. yea! finally. i am so happi. reached dover.so alighted. -HAPPENING- *dont want to say lehx.*

after school, went to meet kaihong. on the way saw that one. that one look at me so i look back lo. my eyes can talk lo. i say good bye with my eyes. hehee.

ran afound to get my project stuffs. then asked kaihong to say my house on saturday so he can help me do project then sunday we can go meet big aunt together. but uncle dun allow him to come stay. =[

today i need to rush project le. i think i cannot finish =[

well, elaine finally replied my mail. i am so worried for her. like my girlfriend like that. hehee. *dream on, she is married!* so i cannot let her down. i WILL ching for my project. yes!

moday submission. but i will still chase bus. now i know. change to bus 21 le =]

sian. but good that all these stop me from thinking of hmmm...

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Birthdays.

and here comes something that gives me great memories... *drumroll*

the greenview st' john ambulance bridage junior nco camp!

and this person tag me along:

mdm loo

and my great pal:

mdm woo

waa haa, issnt that cool? we have got a loo and a woo. hehe. in this camp, they should not go woo laa laa, but instead, woo loo loo. hehee. joking laa! no offence. >.<

and this weirdo is in too:

'dont know what' tan

ps: alright there is a mistake in the tags. at the bottom supposed to read: 'outlast the challenge, lead with pride' is missing. so can you guys just imagine it is there. hehe.

hmmm, great times i spent there. eating a big tub of ice cream, jokes with mjc, through the walks, the hike, cheering them on and the accompany of them, althought i am not really close with. -_- but i definitely enjoyed being there. alot. smiles~ =]

err, i am really stucked. wonder how should i continue...

hahaa. other stuffs bahh. well, now is the new day again. which means is desmond's birthday! oh. happi birthday dude! stay happi yea! could not get him any pressies so send him an online card. well, even if want to send card also dont know where to send to. hehee. i mean though we know each other just barely a year near half, we never really meet before. just sometimes walk past and wave hi~ hahaa. so, seeya some time round!

and here's the song.
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to happi desmond!
happi birthday to you!

as time pass, it will be annette's birthday! i will definitely bring her out to go gai gai with chandini!

for the princess.
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to yang popo!
happi birthday to you!

now its chandini's birthday! she is so sexy everytime i think of that picture. *chan, only you and anne understand yea. hehe. and then it will be partying out with annechan again.

there you go chan!
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to 'shan' 'di' 'nee'~
happi birthday to you!

and soon it will be ws birthday! it falls on a friday. =] its party time. hey, so are you free any day in the week? reserve one day for me now if you are reading this! i sing for you personally ok? i will jio you out de wor! hehe =] be happi! *lai, i make you laugh =] hehehehe.*

here goes your advance birthday song too =]
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to you!
happi birthday to dearest ws!
happi birthday to you!

oh. i got to rush my project. critique is next week and i kena the tuesday slot. sheesh~ i need to buy so many stuffs to prepare but daddy is not giving enough. i think i need to go work. need money.

fastest way = sell backside? mummy dont scream! hehe. lai maa.. *slut* -_- *disaprovingly shake head*

** thous left @ 12:18:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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Monday, December 05, 2005
Think

heh heh. yesterday i did some homework. well, i got to buck up cos critique is next week! sheesh~

then went to ps with ws for dinner =] well it has been long so yeah. great time though. ^^ then happened to heard mr desmond ni calling me. haha, with erhhh hermmm.

trip to lala was not a good one. many thoughts revolves around me. i just think, think and think. sometimes i dont know how to convince myself. but at the moment choosed to live in what i believe. just praying that one day that all this dissolve to reality.

so today, i learnt something that adds on to my load of blues. elaine is missing! well, there is no news of her till now and her name was even removed from my online time table. i am very worried for her. it seems like things are not on the bright side. i emailed her, hoping that she will sent a reply soon. but of course i hope she will not leave us.

i suddenly become so afraid of school. she was my pillar to do well in school. but now, this missing pillar is causing me to collaspe. i realised that why i do well that time and why i did not perform as well as last semester. other than the pressure given by my peers, she was the reason.

i pray and pray. oh dear, please be well! i missed the fun tod lessons extreamly. i dont seemed to be able to concentrate in class nowadays. i am going downhill. quitting revolves around me. help!

i dont know how true my wish is. but i hope it is good on the other side. over here, i am coping as well for a better happening over there. i guess that that event is the greatest reward for me. it may be hurtful to remain in this state, but i already accepted and is fine with it le. so, yeahh.

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Saturday, December 03, 2005
Recalling.

終於作了這個決定　別人怎麼說我不理
只要你也一樣的肯定
我願意天涯海角都隨你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直溫習說服自己
最怕你忽然說要放棄

愛真的需要勇氣　來面對流言蜚語
只要你一個眼神肯定　我的愛就有意義
我們都需要勇氣　去相信會在一起
人潮擁擠我能感覺你　放在我手心裡 你的真心
如果我的堅強任性　會不小心傷害了你
你能不能溫柔提醒　我雖然心太急
更害怕錯過你

ask: how much u trust yourself?
me: well i dont.

i forgotten when was the last time i dont grumble about myself or even life. as i grow, i learnt that not everything is always on my side. i learnt to accept them, accept fate. but these few years, things are not really on the right track. everything is going downwards.

but even thought, i always convince myself to think that maybe heaven is just to all. i also had my glory with great people with me in my school life. but that has already ended. contradictorily, now, stuffs are going downwards in school. well, perhaps i know the reason why, perhaps i dont.

at home, things are rather the same since then. just that they got a little better, and it changed to be me... oh well, just not all things are alright.

i used to thing that perhaps i dont believe to this frame of time, and till i found out someday, that it really did. i came because i am a cover up so their life would be more complete.

thats why although i physically sits here but in actuality, i think i bound to be in some other frames. *alright, enough of that.* since all things are in this manner already, why i bother to change it after i failed so many times. i accepted it.

no regards, i choosed to lost something in me to exchange for something else. god seemed to have heard me and i see things changing now. i dont know on the other side but i hope it pays.

today i am back to what i am supposed to be. just like a year back, i am 'myself' again. stucked in that confined space, live life as it past. i choosed this path myself. *oh god, what am i typing mann? i dont even understand!* because i know this make me lost that thing more steadily.

.3uohs4gnaf2ez3naux2re3ow4iah1gnahs4iap3in
.ne3nauy3gnoy4nix1gnaix,4iuh1ij4eg4iy3ow2eh3in3ieg4iaz4ub3in2he4iew
3in4ianeh1gnij3iy3ow4iew1niy4ihs3in2uf4uhz2eh1iak2il2ez3naux3ow2re

sometimes, somethings you dont know are better.

你 在那里 这些年来如意不如意
还快乐 还单纯 还美丽 时光如何对你

我 在这里 人海中一座岛屿
很平静 风平浪静
只除了深夜里 回忆会疯狂来袭

我 在那里 你会不会偶尔好奇
有没有 曾经怀疑
我说我会忘记 只是种好意

我很想你 你知道吗
如果可以 就让我再见你
美好微笑 清澈眼睛
好确定那场分离只毀了我一个而已

我很想你 听见了吗
这是唯一 我无解的困境
那些过去 不肯过去
不管我后来遇见多少人
只能叹息 都不是你~

都不是你 我只想爱你

yes, i missed them so much. people come people go. the ones i missed so much, jin in heaven now and some other people. sometimes i feel so lonely. i dont know why, but now one ever know the full story.

you mean i dont say?
yes! i dont.
if i do, who?

jin heard me calling for you? people who i missed so much, do you all know?

i feel like seeing her someday soon. is jin really happi there. spare me melancholy and misery here.

a selfish thought i have: when i left tomorrow bah, will i be like her? because i seriously know that somepeople missed her to the core. like me! will people do things that i did for her. *hmmm...*

oh my god. i feel the load. all so strong. i will soon cannot take it anymore. too exhausted. but i will try to take it. and accept it. i guess.

let me find peace in myself. i need to go temple. seriously, soon i will be needed there anyway. peace on me. i will now give all my time to god, to pray for the change.

** thous left @ 4:25:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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.the guy.
label. tan yilong
gender. boii
age. 17 years old
date. 31'st august 88
email. tylong28@yahoo
msn. ed_nuts@hotmail
school. sp design
home. tamp

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