Monday, December 26, 2005
Xmas~

oh, merry belated christmas to all. well, hope all you people's wishes come true~

well, i had been working the day before (christmas eve) and yesterday (christmas day). -_- lol. christmas eve was boring. like i say, i got to work till 7pm and then i dunno where to go. then when working, i have nothing to do. because i am alone *one life guard only* and its like no people go swimming! i celebrated my first christmas with the swimming pool water and the beach and the sand only lo-alone.

just sometimes see a few people walking past, some having dinner around.. and guess what? i saw something that made me go @.@~ i saw two guy holding hands strolling, by the way, their parents are sitting at the resturant behind them. i realised that they are not brothers because both their parents are there. -_- god, maybe people in the club are more open.

well, no people jio me lo, so i caught "a blessed christmas" on teevee mobile. wow. what a tiring day. christmases in the past are always happi or just alright. but this year i felt so me and myself only.

christmas day was alright. i managed to waste 8 hours sitting by the pool side stoning and doing nothing much. thanks to jason tan! i met him there, in the club with his family! yea! finally someone talked to me. he accompanied me frong 5pm plus till 6pm plus. hehee. otherwise i am really going to the mental hospital for talking to myself. we chatted lots of things! from his studies to council to everything i could thought of. heh heh.

i thought that it was christmas and so i decided to bring myself to harbourfront centre to walk after work which is like 7pm plus~ alright, it is damm boring. something is missing. the day i started sitting by the pool side, i am thinking. i thought of the past, and looked at those prints. i felt so blank.

aiya. i just admire some of the bloggers. *well, i read their blogs, livejournal, or blogspot. but they dont know. cos it was link from friends. but i wont tell you who. maybe its your frined! hehe* well, their live is like so happening! all like always going on dates. and their comment box or tag board is always to happening too. lol. i am so so so envy.

err, i dont really understand why. since that incident, i am like have never ever known you. dont have to be so cruel right. few months later then u ask how i am. days i have sent you greetings in all forms, and i felt like i am hollow man. oh. fine~ this is so demoralising. i feel as though i am being brought back to that time, and am freeze down there, never to move on. bad christmas. perhaps i am blessed but am not bliss.

then on from that time, i became more holy. i go temple very often, to find peace in my soul. or i will just look at those prints again to seek comfort. -_- bad year. i dun like 2005. let it past and be gone. sometimes i just feel like going back to malaysia to my grandmother's place and start a new life there. at least i know that living there will be very much better for me! but i cannot leave the four. annechan especially!

well, new year is coming and i think its going to be alright. *finger crossed, hopefully!* i just hope everything will be smooth and great for me in the new year! wishes to annechan and you guys too!

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.the guy.
label. tan yilong
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