Monday, February 27, 2006
Wait.

yes. it is for this word that taught people perseverance.

~ the story of 90 cents from the other dimension ~

what to do when the one you love do not love you anymore? or should i say that i never try hard enough?

this love is so true. so pure. so true till tears that dropped are from deep inside the heart and touches other's heart. so pure that love is ignited at first sight that it could last throughout the test of time. everything was so beautiful and wonderful until your silly decision interrupted the love and the sudden stop i chosed to stay.

deep inside me.. the time we spent, kicking off every appointments, skipping every lessons, giving all sort of funny excuses, just to meet up with each other as much as possible. the words we said, chatting on the phone from evening till midnight 6am still refused to hang up, just to feel each other's presence and the being with one another. the things we did, you to me or me to you, all from the bottom of the heart just for one thing we share - love.

it was not easy for you and me. love is always sweet at the start and until it got long, the real challenge surfaced. you did wrong but i accepted it. for i know i love you, you everything, even your flaws. whatever wrong, i had learnt to accept, for love is about compromising and giving. give, and i give all out. whatever you needed, its yours. i never want return. all i want is the true and faithful love from you.

it was the first, and it shall be the last. i know we both put in very much. till that day we are soon to be separated, not to get the luxury of being together as much we used to be, you hold me tight and tears flowed secretly. from your heart. and i know these are the evidence that you love me so. i could not help it but to tear with you because i will miss you so. everything, each feeling was so true. i know you love me inside out.

comes that time you told me that there will never be an ending. i was in total shock. lost of words. i wonder why you told me these. days before we still made our vow of love and now you are trying to throw me off. i wonder what changed you. we just had not met a few days and things started to change. i refused to reply you. tears just flow down from my cheeks as i walk on the street and my friends ask me why but i do not know how to reply. until i decided to ask you why, you told me there is nothing. i was utterly dissapointed and sad. since then you ask me how i ignore you. never reply you.

it was because you never care for my feelings too. you never ask about me after you message me bye. i do not know how should i react. or maybe i was too sad and fustrated until i do not want to reply you too. but it was all too late. when i talk to you again, its near half a year again.

i have been reflecting all these times. i wonder what are you thinking. it seems like i was never your past. but your impact on me is way too strong. till now i still do not know why your decision. maybe i made a wrong move - to ignore you. but to think again, i should not be the first person to speak. you started all this and i was waiting for you to say something! well, anyway its over.

i do not know what you are thinking now. the last time you told me never give up and keep on trying but i do not know if there is there a hidden meaning to it. i do hope so but i dare not make anymove. everytime we contact, you are still so cold to me.

anyway, i have heard so much, thought so much, been through so much. i know what i want now. i will again let time challenge my love for you. you once told me to leave you alone but now i know i cannot. i will tag you and be at your back always. till one day you realise, and turn back. i will then be ready for you again. fully ready. i wait. wait.

~ the story of 90 cents from the other dimension ~

oh well. the 90 cents story. lol. i have no comments or evein i have now, it is all around and i do not want to say anything. i just do not feel really good.

i have always been reading a blog. and that one is also in such situation as the 90 cents. well, i pray good to that blogger and the 90 cents. all the best!

** thous left @ 1:09:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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Thursday, February 23, 2006
Exercise!

today met up with kion, yifang, kenny, bincent, peiting and chunyee to play badminton. well, we definitely had a great time playing together, then we visited the gym after the matches.

haa, have not visited the gym for a very long time and the first ting that chunyee and me aimed is the treadmill! walked, ran, walked, ran... and finally, the both of us rolled down of the machine together. yea, and i really mean we rolled down. -_- we had our own little jokes and yea, it was so funny. well, she commented taht i was tough, but i was already dying. workouts here and there and of course we challenged each other. and before anyone of us can leave, we must all complete a circuit. -_- lol. and there goes chunyee complaining again that she does not want to have those scary muscles. -_- bincent, kenny and me also hit the weights and yea, we are dead by now.

then finally it was lunch cum dinner at j8. then travelled back to home town. went to whitesands, tampines mall and centry square for some shopping. oh my god. i wasted lottas moola again. and got some pressies. part of it was something that melts and it is now sitting in my fridge until don't know when le. actually it was for laoda's pressies but it seems like we cannot meet tomorrow for dinner le. had to pospone it, so yea. till then, i hope it will survive. -_-

oh well! we have decided that every thursday will be exercising day. so next thursday we will hit the ice skating ring! haha, fiona! join us yea!

i think by now, everyone is sleeping so soundly! =]

tomorrow will be meeteing theresa in early morning then we will head down to the parliment house to bid farewell to the nobel man, Mr. Raja. then see us back in action at greenview. -_-


as for now, sad. i am rushing for some stuffs. at least it keeps me occupied and not to think of anything when 张惠美's '勇敢' started playing. -_-

adios.

** thous left @ 10:56:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Describe.

people, if you have the time, would not you wanted to describe the good things about me here in the Johari Window or you may also shoot me down in the Nohari Window? but just remember to be trueful! thanks =]

** thous left @ 9:51:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Whatever.

hmmm, i have not been blogging for sometimes, yea. am really very busy with all the portfolio stuffs and blah.

i thank my friends who had given me a wonderful week. able to relax more now and catch up with lottas of people.

the day before we went to kion's place to play mahjong and i lost terribly -_-

yeterday i just went kbox with some of them. it was definitely fun. at least i am kept occupied and did not really have the time to let my thoughts run freely.

kion, kenny, bincent, peiting, chunyee and yifang. yea, and know what, yifang sings well! then it was dinner at crystal jade.

tomorrow we are going to play badminton! woho. suddenly everything seems so happening. lol.

but everytime when i get home, turn on that lil box and look into that screen, melancholy is over me again. it is so true that sometimes, somethings you better not know are better.

i chat, look at pictures, read blogs, then look backwards to the past. hmmm, if only that scene stopped there and remain as it is forever. well. duh.

** thous left @ 5:02:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Bad.

i am very tired now. past few days never really slept. these days were not really good. today no exception. thats the problem. when u are alone, you reflect. i hate it. i hang on with it. but i do not know why, it hurt only so much now.

夜里有风 风里有我 我拥有什么
雲跟风说 风跟我说 我能向谁说

不想从前 不談未来 我为谁等待
不要你懂 不怕人说 让爱随风沉默

你是我胸口永远的痛
南方天空飘著北方的雪
热情凍结冷冷风中

你是我胸口永远的痛 永远的痛
昨夜的梦 留给明天 明天

it do not feel good at all. all the smiles and cheerfulness are all just superfical. melancholoy is me.

** thous left @ 2:04:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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Sunday, February 12, 2006
melancholy.

well, these few days was just alright for me. i have been stuffing myself with chocolates and ice cream. and i mean really loads of them!

my crit was just over. and i actually dont know what should my feelings be. i know i did not perform to the best of my capabilities, but the workload is simply just to stressing.

i could not work well under that type of stress. and i was even on the verge of giving up. with the addition of support from my relatives, i finally decided not to go for my submission - the FIRST time! instead i was at greenview's secondary one orientation camp!

well, in the crit, the panel mentioned that i did not make full use of my strengths and it is a waste of my potential. yes, indeed i feel the same too. it was rather wasted but i just cant do the best! elaine also mentioned that it was irresponsible of me not to go for submission. althought i got A for my design, i might still fail because of this attitude. but she did not know the reason why. afterall, i thought through and realised that yea, it was my fault, and now i feel really guilty to disappoint her.

i no longer want to give up. i must endure till the end and climb up to be in the top! moreover the panel sees potential in me. i should not let my strengths go wasted. i felt sad, i dont know why, i am still confused.

talking about secondary one orentation camp, it was fabulous. i never regret going for the camp. my job was to do life saving for the raft station together with yvonne, gerald and zackill. we deinitely had our fun and little jokes. lol. and i also helped out at mummi's first aid post.

and in the night, day one, many fall ill. everything was just so messy with mummi attending to 3 casualties at the quadrangle and me staying at the first aid post attending to another 4 casualties. at the moment, i was like going mad, afterall, my first aid was like basic only, and it was my first time doing that.

that time, i suddenly felt that i become like some daddy or big brother. taking care of those people and cosoling those home sicks. -_-

well, i got to know some great people too. gerald, zackill, jan, farah, and blah. i also got to know a number of new students! oh yah! jianfeng! lol. he was a casualty on the first night, and we took care of him! since then i am so attached to his class, 1TC! haha. i love that class mann! although that was the most casualty class, it was also the most cutest class!

even till now, when i go back to greenview, i will specially go find them. hahaa. they are like my xiao guas, just like mummi and her xiao guas. =]

oh yah, i have been going back to greenview very often lately. yes, me and mummi hope to guide the council through and teach and guide them along as much as possible. i hope this would help mtt.

though i am more relaxed now, i dont quite feel happi about it at all. more time, means i got more time to reflect and think. and i just got to know something recently that make me very very sad. i dont want to say anything anymore. it hurts. i dont know why it happen to turn out this way. this is bad. at least being with mummi and staying in greenview, keeping me occupied at all times make my forget that thing. i am really sad!

i think, i think. all about the past. lol. they are all memories. many things supposedly to be sweet, but brought pain to my heart instead. you, you, you and you. haix.

** thous left @ 10:49:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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.the guy.
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