Saturday, April 29, 2006
Weekend.

oh its saturday. it is the first saturday i feel so relax. the first saturday i still until 2pm.

of course i watch teevee and relaxed very much. this includes lots of reflections too.

the first saturday i feel so lost.
the first saturday i feel so lonely.
the first saturday i feel so sad.
the first saturday i feel so dead.

well, nothing much worth mentioning.

hope that everyone will be fine too. you too.

i should be out le. night cycling. i know you will be with us! it is your favourite. yes, you will be with us.

** thous left @ 4:32:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Thursday, April 27, 2006
Sadd.

oh yesterday i went ont to meet mummi! i am sooo happi. at least for that moment. and she got me some pressies too =]

well, recently have not been too well. too much stress and workload from school and all these are piling up on me. i am already dying form it.

not only that, the sense of melancholy keeps on cover over me. do not ask why. i do not know too. it just do not feel good. i hated this feeling.

thanks ws for being there mann.

rythmn. it flows like life. let it explain how i feel now.

王力宏【你不在】
当世界只剩下这床头灯
你那边是早晨已经出门
我侧身感到你在转身
无数陌生人正在等下一个绿灯
一再错身彼此微弱的十分
不过渴望一个吻的余温
我关了灯黑暗把我并吞

你不在 当我最需要爱 你却不在
无尽等待像独白的难捱
你不在 高兴还是悲哀 你都不在
我受了伤再偷偷好起来 但你不在不在

时间再按下许多次快门
沉默里听见转动的秒针
一个人吃饭这个凌晨
孤单一人份你低声说你有别人
我的话筒只有自己的体温
怎样认真也不一定成真
你说得对 我不得不承认

你不在 当我最需要爱 你却不在
无尽等待像独白的难捱
你不在 高兴还是悲哀 你都不在
我受了伤再偷偷好起来 但你不在

那些摇摆我都明白都明白
但你不在爱已不在不在

你不在 当我最需要爱 你却不在
一个人分饰两角的恋爱
你不在 高兴还是悲哀 你都不在
像空气般不存在的存在
再没有痕迹的爱 你不在
当我需要你的爱 你不在

i definitely miss you very very much. i want to see you but i do not know where are you. 天涯海角, where are you?

this makes me feeling too. i missed some people at this point in time too. what i bring with me is only memories. i often revisit them, because the you(s) worth me to remember.

张惠妹【勇敢】
黑暗中 寂静伸出的双手
冰冷的空气像火 害怕又收手
路太远 谁的眼神能永远
忘了跟你一起走 怎样才会懂
记忆里 爱应该总是温柔
有了这一切 才能不怕黑夜

是我勇敢太久 决定为你一个人而活
不能说出口 那麽折磨
勇敢了太久 城市充满短暂的烟火
无处躲 照亮了沉默 明白是寂寞

谁说过 爱会让人不自由
所以你要我等候 换你的追求
有太多 快乐自私做藉口
你让我最後 把心痛等拥有

是我勇敢太久 决定为你一个人而活
不能说出口 那麽折磨
勇敢了太久 城市充满短暂的烟火
无处躲 照亮了沉默 明白是寂寞

夜太黑 看不见 你在我身边
心伤悲 泪水失去防备

是我勇敢太久 决定为你一个人而活
不能说出口 那麽折磨
勇敢了太久 城市充满短暂的烟火
无处躲 照亮了沉默 爱原来寂寞

yes, i have done enough. i know the reason why some things are missing. that is because most of the time i only know how to give but recieve is lil. this has been kept so deep in, it really hurts everytime time when come to think of it.

张敬轩【断点】
静静地陪你走了好远好远
连眼睛红了都没有发现
听着你说你现在的改变
看着我依然最爱你的笑脸
这条旧路依然没有改变
以往的每次路过都是晴天
想起我们有过的从前
泪水就一点一点开始蔓延

我转过我的脸 不让你看见
深藏的暗涌已经越来越明显
过完了今天 就不要再见面
我害怕每天醒来想你好几遍

我吻过你的脸 你双手曾在我的双肩
感觉有那么甜我那么依恋
每当我闭上眼 我总是可以看见
失信的诺言全部都会实现
我吻过你的脸 你已经不在我的身边
我还是祝福你过得好一点
断开的感情线 我不要做断点
只想在睡前再听见你的 蜜语甜言

i am still missing somebody. of course you are not here for me now, i still hope for the best for you.

龚诗嘉【再一次拥有】
我想念去年的冬天 下著雪的那一夜
你给的温暖 紧握我的双手 温暖整个寒冬

失去了曾经的拥有 在你离开以後
带走了笑容 只留下寂寞 忘了幸福是什麼

没有你的夜特别漆黑 只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜 谁在你身边
代替了那个从前

失去了曾经的拥有 在你离开以後
带走了笑容 只留下寂寞 忘了幸福是什麼

没有你的夜特别漆黑 只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜 谁在你身边
代替了那个从前

能不能再听一次你说爱我 回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我 再一次拥有 曾属於我的温柔

能不能让我 再一次拥有 曾属於我的温柔

yes. how nice if time ever stop at there and we can be together. without you, like some part is missing. i can only keep on reminising the past that had been created. but when will you every come back again.

孙燕姿【隐形人】
无论你肯或不肯 我都选择等
等到你结束好久 探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬 没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门

你越是想要诚恳 其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我 漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒 不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身

多想化成隐形的人 掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温 好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人 隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界 留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

朋友都于心不忍 责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我 执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚 可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任

多想化成隐形的人 掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温 好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人 隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界 留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

i am still me, and i will be me. it is difficult for me to change. i will still be here, always for that you. hope you know the story of the dragonfly on the shoulder, i will tell you that i will always be that drangonfly. and for that 'you', perhaps it soon time for us to meet. because 'you' are the only one i can find peace from.

i am unclear of myself too. i am just too tired. too tired for any and everything. i just pray..

** thous left @ 11:34:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Monday, April 24, 2006
Updates.

oh. life's been dead. i am so tired and time is running out so quickly. i have no time for anything at all! design kills.

well, i haven been well anyway. just simply sad. god knows. i am not in any mood to do anything. nails are black, earrings are dangling. a change is necessary.

many things are coming with a boom in my face. i am so confused with things and it just feel weird. many thoughts came to me but stayed for a short while only. i just can think things properly, perhaps the worms are eating up my brain cells.

pray that world is ending as it is no longer pure and simple as before.will time just stop for me. i need it more that the norm. oh whatever. what the fukc am i saying. kill me.

marigold hl milk is nice.

** thous left @ 11:46:00 AM ** | 0 comments

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Updates.

oh lets start from saturday. when it was sjab recreation day and passing out parade. well, it was a fun day at sentosa. play alot and definitely had fun! was so slacking and suntanned with cristina chua. lol. oh in the end mjc did not put on her bikinis. lol. i was still expecting that mann.

then three plus me and mummi rush back to school to carry on finishing the surprises that was for bravo. hoho. then xinyi came and helped.

on parade it was indeed sadd cos the batch was leaving. so yahh. then played the video i made which the video somehow was not able to work due to god knows whyy.

stayed around till evening, went to loyang point foodcourt with mjc, mummi, alan and lqa. afterwhich we stood outside the entarnce after we have eaten to discuss matters. well, we were kicked off from our seats afterall the place is so filled.

haha, its like oh dear. according to lqa, i was to help out in event planning for sjab leisure camp but till mummi raise certain issues.. alright, i will most probably be alpha's apc so that means i will become the dycc for the presyco camp lo. -_- put that aside..

then school starts! day one monday. sian. project brief and so fast start work. after school went to meet up with benneth and joscelyn. then we waited for her friends the went to cityhall!

alright, saw jason and kris there. some tp orientation stuffs bahh. then me and benneth joked that we want to work at newurbanmale. lol. when i went near the store, the sales assitance came out, i ran away. -_-

we had dinner at subway near marina square. long chats with benneth afterwhich, the whole lot of us went to esplanade by the bay. walked here and there then it was home time. i need to rush project!

day two of school, more stressed! i am dying!!!!!!! someone save me. after school, i went out play again. went to orchard with jocelyn, benneth and eileen chuah. we catch keeping mum at shaw. after the show which is around 9 plus, i bid goodbye to them and travelled to mummi's place.

wow. long journey. i need to borrow camera from her. then i decided to find the straight bus home! i walked long way and got lost in hougang! that is really bad. i anyhow walk about the realised i had walked to hougang mall. walked around there then found a bus to tampines. i took that. -_- the cabbed home from tampinese interchange. well.

got to go. as for today, day three.. update at night yueahh. i need to go meet benneth now!=]

** thous left @ 12:18:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Sick!

oh these few days haven been too well. yours truly here is sick and is dying! anyway mummi and me sort of got the eat-more-and-more diease. we have recently been to marina and downtown to eat steamboat with the gang. then we went airpot to eat sakae. followed by yeterday, where we went to town! firstly we went to beach road to get the ranks for alphathen we went taka. we had kfc there and shopped all around, thinking of surprises for bravo then we went crystal jade to eat again! i guess next on the list should be ding tai feng bahh!

recently people around me has not been too well too. mummi and sister all fell sick! haix. be it physically or mentally or psychologically, eveyone is not well. its not a good sign. i hope all to be better and things goes smoothly for them! and have learnt that ws got hospitalised that day. hope you will be better and please take more care yeaa! hope ya to be better..

oh this saturday is the recreation day and passing out! i have been rushing the video for bravo like hell. hopefully everyone will like it! =] oh, talking about sj, i have got to say that although my new role is yet to confirm, i realised that a few of them started greeting me too. this is strange and makes me feel weird. haha. anyway, i guess it got to do with the new role bahh.

i am so excited. for saturday!! tomorrow will be a long day rushing to end the stuffs. the friday i will meet mummi for the productions. =] so till then i update again.. wish me luck =] and hope all sick people get well soon!

** thous left @ 7:56:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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Saturday, April 08, 2006
Pissed.

oh. this is really long since i updated. well. live is still quite ok. just that i have been so dead. i will just make a quick and simple update bah.

and yea, yesterday was sports heat and after that i went shopping with miss cheng. she bought something for mummi and we definitely bought food!!

these few days are alright. just that some thoughts kept on wandering in me. like sometimes i think too much and goes the wrong way. so i decided to take a step back but then realised that everything was actually okay. i hope it was me being too ... well, i do not know what word to use and what to say la. just let nature take its course bah.

yuppxx, i am now a relief teacher. lol. cannot believe it right. then i am also so call 'offically' in st john under the facilitation crew-training wing, and there might even be a possiblity for me to become the standard 3 apc. anyway, so far i am prepared. soon it will gonna be st john recreation day. i am so glad as well as mummi too =] have been wanting to go sentosa for so long...!

today is dad's buf dae. and i am so pissed. well, infact is just being pissed.

i planned where to go, what to eat, and even volunteer to pay for all sums then when i am home... sheesh. i arranged to go suntec, either crystal jade or soup restaruant to eat, afterwhich we could walk around afterall we have never been there as a family before. then one sis say too tired do not feel like going too far and the other was terribly late till now not home. another thing was when i told dad where we going to eat, he say its okay, dont need to do all these.

this is horribly disgusting. mum always complain i celebrate buf dae with and/or for friends but not the family. now this is the reason why. they DO NOT APPRECIATE your good thoughts. if that is the case, do u think i still feel like doing anything? at least i know that i do things for 3sa mummi, my greenview friends, my poly mates, my online friends, they appreciated what i did.

so now, being terribly pissed off, i show no enthusiaism in anything. like they ask me anything now, i have decided to show attitude, and this is what i am doing now. i just cannot stand it. sheesh. fu*k!

oh forget all that. by the way tomorrow i going to yoga class with shu juan =] afterwhich i will meet mummi to do shopping and go play and whatever. then we will go see miss cheng and miss tay dance =] i am NOT DINNING AT HOME FOR SURE> i cannot give a fu*king god damm.

** thous left @ 6:27:00 PM ** | 0 comments

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.the guy.
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