Sunday, May 28, 2006
Updates.

oh finally i am back to update again, after a break from this sworrowful place. -_-

hmmm, recap from that tuesday. after school, i left immediately to there. went around walking then to that dwelling. all happenings moved so fast for me to gasp. i do not know how to react too. i thought my calls were answered but...

a terrible wait to friday. it is also alpha's first working day. till noon i was feeling weird. a long wait to nothing in the end. i decided to go back greenview. i do not want to stop at that moment and start reflecting. it will only make me feel bad. i hate it. i want to do something i like. i do not want to be reminded of these happenings that makes me melancholic only.

at least back a greenview, my home, is where i felt belong and wanted. and i get to do things i like. i can carry on planning mummi's birthday celebration with mjc, bravo and alpha!

came saturday the big day. i woke up rather early to complete the celebrations stuffs. long hours of work with the pc till my eyeballs almost rolled out of its sockets! till then i need to rush to school! the only regret is i could not join sj to bake mummi's cake! i thought i wanted to feel complete but having a touch on everything. but as long i make this a success, i am glad!

a long process of plannings and organising! i need to keep all these from mummi! mjc and mtt were even worrying. i did all these for mummi is because she is my mentor, my teacher, my senior, my closest, my bestest partner! regardless of my explainations, the fear was still because of his presence. well, i decided that he should know all my plans before i execute them and that would at least ease mjc and mtt's worries! hahaa.

i thought they were thinking too much and reading too much between the lines, but i was wrong. the feeling is weird. i tried to avoid but i cant. came council to the conversation. the lines already made me feel weird and his lines grew more torns that i do not know how to help counter them. i choosed to remain silence.

night fall, the celebration! indeed an unfortable one! for mummi, for me, for sj, for bravo, for alpha, for everyone! no tears, but but everything was with sincerity!

happi night that make me think of nothing and its twilight kitchen till dawn.

big walk on sunday!! lets skip this part.

monday. let the joy carry on! it was sakae with mummi! i love it! ate alot and was enjoying! till i feel bloated and had to vomit out the stuffs in my stomach before i can walk properly!. i was just too full that i need to make myself to vomit in order to feel better! hahaa.

tuesday was out to plan kion's birhtday! with yifang, chunyee, peiting, kenny, fiona. more of like our own shopping lo! -_- then we rushed to party world! full of excitment and enjoyment! i love the gathering! after that was more shopping!! i love you guyss!

all happi things had come to pause. i am back to the normal status with full of reflections. alone in train to school, alone in school as i work alone, alone in train back home, alone in bus back home, alone in my room doing my work! wow, so much time to think, think, and THINK! i feel like bursting! BOOM!

slowly, i convinced myself to be optimistic. till now. i am calm with things. i am trying my very very best! until yesterday =] i feel more happi and open. i found new light. faith in me! haha. yess.

that day i was in chat with a friend. hha. thanks. your presence make me feel great!

but somethings are getting a little confusing! haha. hmm, 7 altogether. haha. wow! why why why! lol.

thanks to nette supporting by my side! and to chan and jin too! althought u both are not around to encourage me, i know you are with me always!

i want to be happi again!

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