Thursday, July 06, 2006
Equal.

there is so much thoughts. well, what's more with pains down there in my body. i mean that was due to eating only one meal, dinner at 7pm. -_-" one day i am gonna be like daddi and admit to the hospital again.

well, it hurts but what to do mann, the pain is stopping me from sleeping. loll. and i am playing games online.. haha.

well, i was late for school. very late. then did work, and left for lecture at 1 and it ended that early at 2. =X i thought it could be a fun day out, but i end up spending time alone in studio using the computer chatting with my good friend.

but thanks for my good friend or i will be alone doing nothing! till i finally able to meet mummi at 5 in tampines. it was a long boring journey. like i am back to the usual self, 一个人旅行. i never brought teddi and jack out. ='[ moreover i was disconnected from the world.! no connections, cannot communicate with my good friends, nobody to accompany me. -_- i try not to bother too much and went to sleep.

at tampines when i got back mu stuffs, there were only messages from my sister and mummi and no more. i buy time and went finding miss chua's farewell gift then went for a little ice cream treat. like i whole day never eat anything and was expecting a luch out but nevermind. ice cream make good cover up too.

then no end in mind, i decided to walk home. well, i will just treat today as a day to 减肥吧. muahahaha.

1/2 hour, long way mann. like it has been dont know how many donkey years ago since i last strolled home. -_- but it is definitely a good time for reflection.

like i learnt that i need to use more facial muscles to push up the wide U shape there more.. so no life, i was so dead, stiches and dark clouds to make it more dramatic.

can i decide how my life will be. fiona *or is it somebody else? stm* was agreeing with me that day that we should not exist. as i live for nothing. like i used to thought that i live for the people around me but like who cares when you bothered so much? haha. the cycle is simple. live, old, sick, die. and you die, leaving with nothing, not even memories and the worst is you dont even know where you are travelling to! so why bother the people, shouldnt i care more for myself. lol. this is messy la.

now i am still floding the stuffs, all is to present something nice that you will like. ah zhi say i am being too nice to treat people the way i do, but i think i am more of selfish. seriously. i treat people well for wanting them to treat me good in return. isnt it? or perhaps i dont ask much. i only want to have a place in the hearts of the people i love. of course the one i love so much..

but the reality is as pratical. not everybody is the same. others might not see it as those recipocal stuffs.

*wow, i feel so filled with wisdom.. -_-*

love is selfish. just because of the 'selfishness', love makes it so wonderful when love is give to someone, it belongs to only that someone only.

在對的時間遇上對的人﹐是一世幸福。
在錯得時間遇上錯的人﹐是一種荒唐。
在對的時間遇上錯的人﹐是一種傷心。
在錯的時間遇上對的人﹐是一聲叹息。

so for me is nowhere to be. when then will you be the right one atthe right time?

Love's Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过 更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我 被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手 不要放手 永远守护我

how beautiful to form up a stanza with so much meanings to it. but to me, i think i am starting to see the ugly part. not everything is beautiful. like how possibly would you be ready to complete the circle for me now?

just because i lost things before, i treasure what i have even more. and i believe i was the same. i never fail to give my everything to commit in whatever things. not selling myself but i think its already wonderful to do so.

so when can i shout the last two lines down there? to the-person-to-complete-my-circle?

in msn, my nick was '在快要失去的霎那 特别的痛. 可否再对我有所表示. 因为 对你的情 永不变. 跃过的每一天 越陷越深. 思念 也非常深. 是我太傻了吗..' but was it clear enough? or it has became a facade that is painted on the tower for beauty only? the meanings it carries, has it been conveyed out?

as i blog till this point, what's more i could do but to 走一步,看一步? happiness makes my facade only. deep in was nothing be melancholic. like should i be like the usual me? let things take its course and i just wait. haha. record of 5 years, whats next?

i just have to sing..
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷 我想我挺得住

我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福

** thous left @ 12:40:00 AM ** | 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Updates.

err. this is bad ok. zhi was saying that i should not bother too much le, afterall i know what is the outcome anyway.

like ya, heck care? hmm. i had tried. but i could not.

i said, at least i had tried my very best. who's gonna be the one to complete the circle?

** thous left @ 1:19:00 PM ** | 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Monday, July 03, 2006
Support.

i need more of it. the greatest source of support i get is from ah zhi! like there is nobody i could share alot with. not that my closest pals are not around, but they are just not suitable.

i could only tell ah zhi everything as i am more comfortable. anyway, i also dont know what to do. should i pray to go out tomorrow again? no mood le. i dont even want to go anywhere or do anythings. including school work.

i just want to lie flat on the grass patch. look into the sky and daze. nothing to do, so carefree. not stucked at anywhere, any moment. nothing to think about, nothing to worry about.

i just want to be with jin, in a land with no troubles. the place is heaven west.

** thous left @ 11:04:00 PM ** | 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

lonesome.

that is it! suddenly that somebody is like no where found. like totally lost, minimal or no communications at all. hence the lonesome yahh.

zhi was right. it can be confusing, like he say 忽冷忽热. hahaa. what about eating ice cream in the hot sun? -_- well, anyway, yahh, people have times when they are weak.

so zhi has been the supportive one being there! like nobody cares anymore. like being out alone so late, good friend seemed to be the only one wondering if i am okay here.

at this hour, for days, awaiting that tink sound till fall dead. but it was always silent till retire.

things will change for the better? you will change things back like before for me? it says gt is the remedy.

jin, i need you. missing you so greatly! like you too.

** thous left @ 2:28:00 AM ** | 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Saturday, July 01, 2006
Update.

30th june 2006 yesterday..
a very long day.. was in school and i skipped rwp. for all i know, i just want to skip her lesson!!

at first i thought all of them will be as united, but who knows, you can never predict things. it was only yungling, bincent and me. so we went guild house to play bowling. it was a very fun session and altogether we played 6 games each.

after that i rushed down to suntec to meet shujuan, kaisheng, darren and eileen to celebrate eileen's birthday, with is today! we ate at kenny rogers and play around fountain of wealth. took alot of crazy shots of course!!

then i travelled down to bugis to meet gt. ate there and walk around then back to aljunied. it was then looking around for shop houses near town area.

aiya, the map registered in my mind is not very wide. so i always do not know where to go. so go out i always no suggestion. hmm, guess i need to travel more so can go around.

then went to have drink at bedok market place lo. haa. home time and i played computer all the way.

today..
never sleep. went greenview early in the morning for st john day. and we managed to get miss cheng in her uniform. to be frank, she looks wonderful in that! and it was flag raising and all.

the platoons were so sweet and all prepared something for miss cheng and the teachers for appreciation. =D she must be so touched.

school ends at 10 plus and we stayed around for some time till 12 plus, me and mummi went bugis for brunch and shopping. walk around and had yoshinoya. i wanted to buy e-sal de monkey in the cylinder de. but sold out -_- so sadd man. i just love the monkeys!! oh yah, now there is the stamp series. X)

then we bought tea for the kids and many many flowers. there were mend for mtt, miss cheng and miss tay!! i wrapped them in school! then rushed to victoria jc for public performance.

public performance. it was so wonderful. i love it alot. the storyline is fabulous! and this show had sang many twinkle twinkle little star! the show is so successful that it can like make me moved to almost tear lo. -_-

well, i just know in loneliness, i missed jin so much. like these few days are so melanchoic. and jin seemed to be around. especially when lone huant me and when i think about stuffs, i am terribily affected by her. its sad.

and i just finished watching the ghost show on teevee. its about amusement park with a very sad ending. hmm, what happens when all your frineds aroundyou leave you? well, never mind. i just miss jin so much!

actually wanted to go out tonight. but cannot. chatted but nothing much. why why? anyway got to thanks yongzhi! thanks so so so so much my good friend!

** thous left @ 12:31:00 AM ** | 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

.the guy.
label. tan yilong
gender. boii
age. 17 years old
date. 31'st august 88
email. tylong28@yahoo
msn. ed_nuts@hotmail
school. sp design
home. tamp

.tagboard.

.friends.
aaron.lim
aaron.chan
annette.yang
annice.tan
chandini.feroz
desmond.peh
fiona.lau
nicolette.tan
tan.meihui
vanice.lam
wilson.lim

.links.
friendster
hotmail
yahoo

.credits.
cbox
blogger
dynamicdrive
blogskins
photobucket
haloscan

.archives.
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006