Thursday, July 06, 2006
Equal.

there is so much thoughts. well, what's more with pains down there in my body. i mean that was due to eating only one meal, dinner at 7pm. -_-" one day i am gonna be like daddi and admit to the hospital again.

well, it hurts but what to do mann, the pain is stopping me from sleeping. loll. and i am playing games online.. haha.

well, i was late for school. very late. then did work, and left for lecture at 1 and it ended that early at 2. =X i thought it could be a fun day out, but i end up spending time alone in studio using the computer chatting with my good friend.

but thanks for my good friend or i will be alone doing nothing! till i finally able to meet mummi at 5 in tampines. it was a long boring journey. like i am back to the usual self, 一个人旅行. i never brought teddi and jack out. ='[ moreover i was disconnected from the world.! no connections, cannot communicate with my good friends, nobody to accompany me. -_- i try not to bother too much and went to sleep.

at tampines when i got back mu stuffs, there were only messages from my sister and mummi and no more. i buy time and went finding miss chua's farewell gift then went for a little ice cream treat. like i whole day never eat anything and was expecting a luch out but nevermind. ice cream make good cover up too.

then no end in mind, i decided to walk home. well, i will just treat today as a day to 减肥吧. muahahaha.

1/2 hour, long way mann. like it has been dont know how many donkey years ago since i last strolled home. -_- but it is definitely a good time for reflection.

like i learnt that i need to use more facial muscles to push up the wide U shape there more.. so no life, i was so dead, stiches and dark clouds to make it more dramatic.

can i decide how my life will be. fiona *or is it somebody else? stm* was agreeing with me that day that we should not exist. as i live for nothing. like i used to thought that i live for the people around me but like who cares when you bothered so much? haha. the cycle is simple. live, old, sick, die. and you die, leaving with nothing, not even memories and the worst is you dont even know where you are travelling to! so why bother the people, shouldnt i care more for myself. lol. this is messy la.

now i am still floding the stuffs, all is to present something nice that you will like. ah zhi say i am being too nice to treat people the way i do, but i think i am more of selfish. seriously. i treat people well for wanting them to treat me good in return. isnt it? or perhaps i dont ask much. i only want to have a place in the hearts of the people i love. of course the one i love so much..

but the reality is as pratical. not everybody is the same. others might not see it as those recipocal stuffs.

*wow, i feel so filled with wisdom.. -_-*

love is selfish. just because of the 'selfishness', love makes it so wonderful when love is give to someone, it belongs to only that someone only.

在對的時間遇上對的人﹐是一世幸福。
在錯得時間遇上錯的人﹐是一種荒唐。
在對的時間遇上錯的人﹐是一種傷心。
在錯的時間遇上對的人﹐是一聲叹息。

so for me is nowhere to be. when then will you be the right one atthe right time?

Love's Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过 更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我 被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手 不要放手 永远守护我

how beautiful to form up a stanza with so much meanings to it. but to me, i think i am starting to see the ugly part. not everything is beautiful. like how possibly would you be ready to complete the circle for me now?

just because i lost things before, i treasure what i have even more. and i believe i was the same. i never fail to give my everything to commit in whatever things. not selling myself but i think its already wonderful to do so.

so when can i shout the last two lines down there? to the-person-to-complete-my-circle?

in msn, my nick was '在快要失去的霎那 特别的痛. 可否再对我有所表示. 因为 对你的情 永不变. 跃过的每一天 越陷越深. 思念 也非常深. 是我太傻了吗..' but was it clear enough? or it has became a facade that is painted on the tower for beauty only? the meanings it carries, has it been conveyed out?

as i blog till this point, what's more i could do but to 走一步,看一步? happiness makes my facade only. deep in was nothing be melancholic. like should i be like the usual me? let things take its course and i just wait. haha. record of 5 years, whats next?

i just have to sing..
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷 我想我挺得住

我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福

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.the guy.
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