Monday, November 06, 2006
checklist.

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 7

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 10

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 8

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 5

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 6

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 6

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 5

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 5

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the same sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 9

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the same sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 20 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 6

TOTAL: 67/100

its a B3. i am so bad rite. oh god.

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Friday, November 03, 2006
updates.

today was a rush-y day. first woke up early to go school then meet my daddy to do some work. send the cables to the factory then we went to eat brunch at the market.

dad was so free that he could even send me to school! but unfortunately, there was a heavy downpour on the way. i was totally drenched. when i reached school, i was so so so cold.

i feel very glad and accomplished because i did alot of concept thinkings today and i even went to the lbrary to borrow referance books. thanks kion for lending me her card! mine cannot borrow anymore books as i got fines. -_-

after school, went to orchard to get something and went to shaw's mccafe to slack and do work. i broke my own record again. more than 6 hours sitting down there doing work. phew~! but again, is worth it as i did much and am ready for any critiques!

was wanting to meet ds but seems to be a little busy, so it is alright! then i also feel being a little too intruding to join ds for movie so i decided to stay put at the cafe to do work. *hmm do not get me wrong, i just want to respect ya, ds! ^^*

so took the long 518 journey home and dozed off a number of times. missed my sweety very much!

so glad that gerald's cafe is opening tomorrow. although i helped him in the design, i do not really know what the end product looks like. hehe. will be there tomorrow after lessons but hope you can go with me. =P

one day one star. i hope i will never stop folding the stars!! whee~!

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
sweetness.

it has really been very long since i last update! wow! many things happened. ups and down. but one happening that will always brighten up me day is with ds.

the story,
于皓之爱

这许多珍贵的时刻
都有你在我身边
一定是份上天的礼物
整夜拥抱着我

living everyday the same no one will mind too. because of being able to be with your love one everyday. how sweet to always wake up seeing that person next to you.

出奇不意的认识了你
多感谢我能遇见你
现在我拥有了一份真爱
可以去珍惜 拥有 跟分享

this is call fate. both were mend to know each other and to love each other till the end.

我的心 再也无法隐藏
过去我总是习惯掩饰我真的心情
现在我会与你一起 直到最后
在这个世界上 我只想守在你身旁
你是我的生命 我的灵魂 我的最爱
经过这一切 我知道
你已明白你就是我心所属
直到最后

how much true love can one find on earth? so i treasure it with all my heart.

我周围的朋友 都说你很快就会离开我
宝贝 我会让他们看到
我们已经找到了我们的归属
我们会一直永远 直到最后

never give up and having trust and understanding in each other. love is a two way thing.

i finished the stroke! the full circle and it goes round and round. the strokes only gets thicker and stronger, till nothing can breaks it.

thanks.

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Saturday, September 23, 2006
念。

“堕入凡尘，只为与你重逢。我相信宿命。因你前世的不告而别，我追随而至，只想有一个圆满的句点。我爱你，至死不渝！”
阅过一个隔离两个世界的爱情故事，勾起一阵程思。回忆往事，沉浸在思考中。

昨是今非望无尽，生死相隔两茫茫。解愁肠，度思量，人间如梦，倚笑乘风凉。
在感慨一个悲剧人生？困在这如梦如幻的人生，一切似乎已物是人非了。


梦醒了，甜蜜美满的结束。虚幻！一切是虚伪。人生并不单纯简单。悲观，信念依然是悲观主义。
生离死别一圈，一个机会，做个选择。美梦不醒，要不从没活过。

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Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Updates.

woo.. been missing in action.

for very long time i never come blog my days. nevertheless, i did a simplified blogging on my handphone. hehee. *totally private*

haix. had been bad these days. not doing very well in all aspects.

i just feel very bad again. stress are all over me. i just do not feel like i am the 'me' i used to be.

take one step at a time bahh. what else can i do? just be it. ='[

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Thursday, July 06, 2006
Equal.

there is so much thoughts. well, what's more with pains down there in my body. i mean that was due to eating only one meal, dinner at 7pm. -_-" one day i am gonna be like daddi and admit to the hospital again.

well, it hurts but what to do mann, the pain is stopping me from sleeping. loll. and i am playing games online.. haha.

well, i was late for school. very late. then did work, and left for lecture at 1 and it ended that early at 2. =X i thought it could be a fun day out, but i end up spending time alone in studio using the computer chatting with my good friend.

but thanks for my good friend or i will be alone doing nothing! till i finally able to meet mummi at 5 in tampines. it was a long boring journey. like i am back to the usual self, 一个人旅行. i never brought teddi and jack out. ='[ moreover i was disconnected from the world.! no connections, cannot communicate with my good friends, nobody to accompany me. -_- i try not to bother too much and went to sleep.

at tampines when i got back mu stuffs, there were only messages from my sister and mummi and no more. i buy time and went finding miss chua's farewell gift then went for a little ice cream treat. like i whole day never eat anything and was expecting a luch out but nevermind. ice cream make good cover up too.

then no end in mind, i decided to walk home. well, i will just treat today as a day to 减肥吧. muahahaha.

1/2 hour, long way mann. like it has been dont know how many donkey years ago since i last strolled home. -_- but it is definitely a good time for reflection.

like i learnt that i need to use more facial muscles to push up the wide U shape there more.. so no life, i was so dead, stiches and dark clouds to make it more dramatic.

can i decide how my life will be. fiona *or is it somebody else? stm* was agreeing with me that day that we should not exist. as i live for nothing. like i used to thought that i live for the people around me but like who cares when you bothered so much? haha. the cycle is simple. live, old, sick, die. and you die, leaving with nothing, not even memories and the worst is you dont even know where you are travelling to! so why bother the people, shouldnt i care more for myself. lol. this is messy la.

now i am still floding the stuffs, all is to present something nice that you will like. ah zhi say i am being too nice to treat people the way i do, but i think i am more of selfish. seriously. i treat people well for wanting them to treat me good in return. isnt it? or perhaps i dont ask much. i only want to have a place in the hearts of the people i love. of course the one i love so much..

but the reality is as pratical. not everybody is the same. others might not see it as those recipocal stuffs.

*wow, i feel so filled with wisdom.. -_-*

love is selfish. just because of the 'selfishness', love makes it so wonderful when love is give to someone, it belongs to only that someone only.

在對的時間遇上對的人﹐是一世幸福。
在錯得時間遇上錯的人﹐是一種荒唐。
在對的時間遇上錯的人﹐是一種傷心。
在錯的時間遇上對的人﹐是一聲叹息。

so for me is nowhere to be. when then will you be the right one atthe right time?

Love's Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过 更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我 被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手 不要放手 永远守护我

how beautiful to form up a stanza with so much meanings to it. but to me, i think i am starting to see the ugly part. not everything is beautiful. like how possibly would you be ready to complete the circle for me now?

just because i lost things before, i treasure what i have even more. and i believe i was the same. i never fail to give my everything to commit in whatever things. not selling myself but i think its already wonderful to do so.

so when can i shout the last two lines down there? to the-person-to-complete-my-circle?

in msn, my nick was '在快要失去的霎那 特别的痛. 可否再对我有所表示. 因为 对你的情 永不变. 跃过的每一天 越陷越深. 思念 也非常深. 是我太傻了吗..' but was it clear enough? or it has became a facade that is painted on the tower for beauty only? the meanings it carries, has it been conveyed out?

as i blog till this point, what's more i could do but to 走一步,看一步? happiness makes my facade only. deep in was nothing be melancholic. like should i be like the usual me? let things take its course and i just wait. haha. record of 5 years, whats next?

i just have to sing..
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷 我想我挺得住

我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Updates.

err. this is bad ok. zhi was saying that i should not bother too much le, afterall i know what is the outcome anyway.

like ya, heck care? hmm. i had tried. but i could not.

i said, at least i had tried my very best. who's gonna be the one to complete the circle?

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Monday, July 03, 2006
Support.

i need more of it. the greatest source of support i get is from ah zhi! like there is nobody i could share alot with. not that my closest pals are not around, but they are just not suitable.

i could only tell ah zhi everything as i am more comfortable. anyway, i also dont know what to do. should i pray to go out tomorrow again? no mood le. i dont even want to go anywhere or do anythings. including school work.

i just want to lie flat on the grass patch. look into the sky and daze. nothing to do, so carefree. not stucked at anywhere, any moment. nothing to think about, nothing to worry about.

i just want to be with jin, in a land with no troubles. the place is heaven west.

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lonesome.

that is it! suddenly that somebody is like no where found. like totally lost, minimal or no communications at all. hence the lonesome yahh.

zhi was right. it can be confusing, like he say 忽冷忽热. hahaa. what about eating ice cream in the hot sun? -_- well, anyway, yahh, people have times when they are weak.

so zhi has been the supportive one being there! like nobody cares anymore. like being out alone so late, good friend seemed to be the only one wondering if i am okay here.

at this hour, for days, awaiting that tink sound till fall dead. but it was always silent till retire.

things will change for the better? you will change things back like before for me? it says gt is the remedy.

jin, i need you. missing you so greatly! like you too.

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Saturday, July 01, 2006
Update.

30th june 2006 yesterday..
a very long day.. was in school and i skipped rwp. for all i know, i just want to skip her lesson!!

at first i thought all of them will be as united, but who knows, you can never predict things. it was only yungling, bincent and me. so we went guild house to play bowling. it was a very fun session and altogether we played 6 games each.

after that i rushed down to suntec to meet shujuan, kaisheng, darren and eileen to celebrate eileen's birthday, with is today! we ate at kenny rogers and play around fountain of wealth. took alot of crazy shots of course!!

then i travelled down to bugis to meet gt. ate there and walk around then back to aljunied. it was then looking around for shop houses near town area.

aiya, the map registered in my mind is not very wide. so i always do not know where to go. so go out i always no suggestion. hmm, guess i need to travel more so can go around.

then went to have drink at bedok market place lo. haa. home time and i played computer all the way.

today..
never sleep. went greenview early in the morning for st john day. and we managed to get miss cheng in her uniform. to be frank, she looks wonderful in that! and it was flag raising and all.

the platoons were so sweet and all prepared something for miss cheng and the teachers for appreciation. =D she must be so touched.

school ends at 10 plus and we stayed around for some time till 12 plus, me and mummi went bugis for brunch and shopping. walk around and had yoshinoya. i wanted to buy e-sal de monkey in the cylinder de. but sold out -_- so sadd man. i just love the monkeys!! oh yah, now there is the stamp series. X)

then we bought tea for the kids and many many flowers. there were mend for mtt, miss cheng and miss tay!! i wrapped them in school! then rushed to victoria jc for public performance.

public performance. it was so wonderful. i love it alot. the storyline is fabulous! and this show had sang many twinkle twinkle little star! the show is so successful that it can like make me moved to almost tear lo. -_-

well, i just know in loneliness, i missed jin so much. like these few days are so melanchoic. and jin seemed to be around. especially when lone huant me and when i think about stuffs, i am terribily affected by her. its sad.

and i just finished watching the ghost show on teevee. its about amusement park with a very sad ending. hmm, what happens when all your frineds aroundyou leave you? well, never mind. i just miss jin so much!

actually wanted to go out tonight. but cannot. chatted but nothing much. why why? anyway got to thanks yongzhi! thanks so so so so much my good friend!

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Monday, June 26, 2006
Updates.

15th June 2006, thursday
hmm, on holiday lo. was out to ton at some place and i went sentosa to catch the musical fountain show!! love it loads mann! wonderful expeience. then went to the sentosa proclaimed 'most southern point of asia continent'. loll.

it was a very very enjoyable day for me althought it is a little boring. lol. so sorry about that lo. then it was movie back at holiday.. muahahahaha.

16th June 2006, friday
oh st john leisure precamp! like there is so much to do. there is totally not enough time to complete the things. had to rush and split work. and something that most terrible happened.

i always thought that school was so save, i mean, at least back at greenview, afterall i had been camping there for like 5 years le! then heard miss cheng and 3sa sying that they first time see things. well, if you people know me, i see and i feel. so the whole night mummi was glued to me in sjab room. lol. then it is all camp stuffs which i dont want to say le.

17/18/19th June 2006, saturday-monday
greenview st john leisure camp 2006

20th June 2006, tuesday
oh i am out! yeah. well, remembered that i wanted to watch the nun. so searched everywhere from bedok to town. then realised that it was over le. so went marina square to do stuffs and then was alone to esplanade and back marina then bugis, before meetup to supper =D

21th June 2006, wednesday
rest at home. what a boring day. i was like a little sick like gt. but recovering fast! =D

went to meet kaisheng, darren and shujuan at kaisheng's place. did elieen's birthday present and blah. i had a very good time with his dog! =]

so i said things and was left to worry the whole night. well, i will not mention what but well, it was like so exciting.

22th June 2006, thursday
hopes dead man. i am so dead. am i okie? loll.

wow! out again! this time i know i wanted to watch silent hill. but as i know its weird. i know why. but it seemed like nothing lo. so like normal and caught the show at the cathay =D well.. not bad movie! at least i think it is because i like the different dimension concept.

so everything is the same, supper.

23th June 2006, friday
so it was like last working day of my holiday. sianx. met mummi at 3 whereby we were supposed to meet up at 10! so we went ding tai feng. sinful indulgence. -_- lol. did some thinkings and plannings as usual every time we meet up.

then when over to whitesands mac for the camp's after action review. lol. long meeting. loll.

24th June 2006, saturday
slack and went out. it was in the evening to chinatown and walked around singapore river. was glad that i finally finish the drawing of the card and it will be a surprise. woww!

25th June 2006, sunday
memory loss. -_- lol. no la.. i went to gramps place. well.

today!
well, school finally started and i am so dead. came home early and slack till now. so there will be training tomorrow. after that i want go out lo!! =D woohoo.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Updates.

yesterday =]

boring day home.

met annice and kris in tampines mall. =D had dinner with annice at long john lo. then went to aljunied and then went east coast. sugercane drink and tea. wohoo~

got a new ear stud. i love it very very extremely very much ^^

next is around bedok. touring.

reached home late and got scolding -_- i never tell them i will be back late and i ignored all calls! wahaha.

dad bought fried chicken. 3 for me!!! =X i am getting fat. later nobody wants le. -_- but gt will rite..

hmm.. now i am at home. packed my bag half way. going night cycling recee later on. with mummi, alan, lqa, wsj and evon. and will be back tomorow early in the morning. will take my barang barang then zoom off to have breakfast with that person. hee.

going on holiday! then camp will start the following day!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Affirmation.

i thing i needed that, as i feel myself hanging in the air. suspense, that is it.

or is it i am just thinking too much? i dont know.

hmmm, been going out these days. on purpose.

11th june 2006
had yoga class in the morning. then rush work. lol.

went to fiona's place to do work at night. rush for submission. woo, i am so lagg. hee. then gt came to fetch me. went around the area to eat then went over to err.. seletar? hahaa. play golf? loll!!!

after that went to sembawang area to have supper.. whee~

12th june 2006
went to around friend's place. then err i dont recall what i did that day le. -_- but i remember i went bedok reservoir!! ^^ or is it on the 10th?? lol. stm.

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Friday, June 09, 2006
Joy.

yeah. i am so so so so so happi. things are easy and simply. *i hope so* and this shall last.

been out till late lately.

06/06/06 - tuesday
went out to meet mummi at 10am. then we went breakfast and walk walk around then moved on to geylang de malay market to shop for camp stuffs.

we bought loads of stuffs all so cheap =] and i can cut cost! then went to aljunied to meet evon to get our loaned car. off to beach road we went. settled the buyings and we went bras basar to get the paints.

back to greenview to put the stuffs and evon sent me back to town. met josh at ps.

woo hoo, dined at ermm, i dont know whats that place and went to my favourite place =] its the esplanade! we had to walk quite far to there. hee.

it has been long since i last visited there. i just love the esplanade. walked around and something happened that make me look so stupid.. -_- thank ahhh.. i thought i see no merlion from esplanade and josh keep on insisting it is there. that moment i thought my eyes playing tricks on me or my eyes spoil le. little did i know, he was tricking me!! lol.

07/06/06 - wednesday
did work the whole day and went out to watch the omen with old pig. hehee. not scary at all de. i still thought of scaring myself! loll. had dinner first at the sumo house. haaa.

after show when to aljunied to get car haa. went to watch aeroplane at changi lo. hahaa. then had supper at changi village and then went home. by then it was like 1 plus lo. hehe. <3 enjoyable day =]

08/06/06 - thursday
stayed home did work again. evening went over to fiona's place. did some scanning and joked around lo. -_-

hurried down to there and i walked around the place. like i can really explore mann. hahaa. had dinner at the coffee shop. then next was dessert at the cheesecake cafe ^^ shared one american and peach cheesecake. muahahaha. fun and joy 100%

off to eat coast haa. ,3.
i am back home at 2 plus. wow break record! mauahha.

today
hmm, now is 1622. doing work.. or rather slacking.. hee. dont know what to do. dont know got meet up. maybe i going kai's place to watch world cup. should i? but i wanna see pig!

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Monday, June 05, 2006
Deserve?

hmm. yess. i came out with this title after i watch channel 8's rhapsody in blue.

hmmm the story goes as this man promised her daughter he will never marry again and will love her only or the daughter threaten to go join her mother in the heaven. then eventually the father got a lover and is not accepted by the daughter. so some events happened and the daughter was almost knocked down by a car which eventually turn out to be the fater kena knocked instead.

hmm, if you watched you will understand la. i am bad at doing summary. but that is out of the point.

throughout i hated the man alot. i do not know why, but it is because he promised his daughter he will not marry again and love her only, but ended up lied to her daughter. i know i am bad, but i was quite glad as the story says that the man died.

in my mind was like, 'serve him right' and the sight of the man's lover disgusted me, just like how it disgusted his daughter in the show.

like this is just a show and i know it is just a story, but it excites me alot!

it reminded me of jin. that time when she just departs. i cannot remember if she was still with that guy, but that day, i went to her wake and saw him passing the flower soft toy that he gave jin to another girl. like omfg! how i wished i can kill him and her infront of jin!

if he took back the soft toy, he should treasure it like it is the last thing he can be reminded of jin everytime. but he passed it to her! it is an insult!! i can stand it!

today i am reminded of this again. he is not worth the love that jin gave! i curse him and i had cursed and i will always curse, him and her!

do not deserve! i will never be like this! because i know anybody nice to me, deserved me to be nice to him or her.

sux mann.

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Sunday, June 04, 2006
Updates.

hmm, actually i also dunno how to start this entry.. hmmm, i am really confused. i need someone to speak to but none seem to be suitable. really.

like should i be glad or what? i really do not know! hmmm, i guess this is something that is neutral bahh. expecially when you know nothing!

hmmm, i really do not know. i had stared at this screen for 2 hours plus le. and i only wrote this long. -_- this is so unlike me.

everything when i am stucked or i do not feel good, jin will make me better but now, i am still feeling as misarable. it is just helpless.

i do not want this to always happen, and i will end up back to that square again. i can only pray that things turn out my way.

i just miss jin very very much! if i am with her, at least nothing to worry. jin, let me contact your brother or your mother again! i need you!

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Thursday, June 01, 2006
Day.

hey hey, i am glad that i am happi. but that stupid person spoils my mood!! shit her. idiot.

hahaa.. forget that mann! ahhaa.

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
School.

its so boring.. and now i am waiting for my optometery lessons to stay! hmmm, its exam today. oh my gawd. like i do not remember when was the last time i took even a test lo! pray. i studied real hard for it yea!

i then realised these few day i am eating really alot. i think back then realised that on the saddening week, i skipped most meals. infact ate so so so lil. haixx. maybe thats why.

its so boring now. sianx. people gone missing on msn lo!!! no people talk to me!!! hahaa. hmmm i got to go laa. lol.

sidenote: give me the chance, i will hold u till eternity..=]

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Sunday, May 28, 2006
Updates.

oh finally i am back to update again, after a break from this sworrowful place. -_-

hmmm, recap from that tuesday. after school, i left immediately to there. went around walking then to that dwelling. all happenings moved so fast for me to gasp. i do not know how to react too. i thought my calls were answered but...

a terrible wait to friday. it is also alpha's first working day. till noon i was feeling weird. a long wait to nothing in the end. i decided to go back greenview. i do not want to stop at that moment and start reflecting. it will only make me feel bad. i hate it. i want to do something i like. i do not want to be reminded of these happenings that makes me melancholic only.

at least back a greenview, my home, is where i felt belong and wanted. and i get to do things i like. i can carry on planning mummi's birthday celebration with mjc, bravo and alpha!

came saturday the big day. i woke up rather early to complete the celebrations stuffs. long hours of work with the pc till my eyeballs almost rolled out of its sockets! till then i need to rush to school! the only regret is i could not join sj to bake mummi's cake! i thought i wanted to feel complete but having a touch on everything. but as long i make this a success, i am glad!

a long process of plannings and organising! i need to keep all these from mummi! mjc and mtt were even worrying. i did all these for mummi is because she is my mentor, my teacher, my senior, my closest, my bestest partner! regardless of my explainations, the fear was still because of his presence. well, i decided that he should know all my plans before i execute them and that would at least ease mjc and mtt's worries! hahaa.

i thought they were thinking too much and reading too much between the lines, but i was wrong. the feeling is weird. i tried to avoid but i cant. came council to the conversation. the lines already made me feel weird and his lines grew more torns that i do not know how to help counter them. i choosed to remain silence.

night fall, the celebration! indeed an unfortable one! for mummi, for me, for sj, for bravo, for alpha, for everyone! no tears, but but everything was with sincerity!

happi night that make me think of nothing and its twilight kitchen till dawn.

big walk on sunday!! lets skip this part.

monday. let the joy carry on! it was sakae with mummi! i love it! ate alot and was enjoying! till i feel bloated and had to vomit out the stuffs in my stomach before i can walk properly!. i was just too full that i need to make myself to vomit in order to feel better! hahaa.

tuesday was out to plan kion's birhtday! with yifang, chunyee, peiting, kenny, fiona. more of like our own shopping lo! -_- then we rushed to party world! full of excitment and enjoyment! i love the gathering! after that was more shopping!! i love you guyss!

all happi things had come to pause. i am back to the normal status with full of reflections. alone in train to school, alone in school as i work alone, alone in train back home, alone in bus back home, alone in my room doing my work! wow, so much time to think, think, and THINK! i feel like bursting! BOOM!

slowly, i convinced myself to be optimistic. till now. i am calm with things. i am trying my very very best! until yesterday =] i feel more happi and open. i found new light. faith in me! haha. yess.

that day i was in chat with a friend. hha. thanks. your presence make me feel great!

but somethings are getting a little confusing! haha. hmm, 7 altogether. haha. wow! why why why! lol.

thanks to nette supporting by my side! and to chan and jin too! althought u both are not around to encourage me, i know you are with me always!

i want to be happi again!

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Friday, May 19, 2006
failures.

oh. i have come to a point of totally depressed again. i know that path was never meant for me, so it proves now, even i still go towards it, failure is what i get.

red has emerge from it already. it was gentle and seems elegant. hooking on it?

my guesses were always right. so i am trying to be calm. i am cool about things now, because i am dead from today.

he's gone. yilong's gone.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Whatever.

err, yahh. like whatever. it has been long since i last updated yes, there is loads of informations i want to share. like the happenings in sjab currently, the sentosa trip with mummi, school work etc.

but i am stucked here. exactly now, dont feel like updating anything at the moment. that is due to too many thoughts and feelings went through me at the moment. i just know that at this moment, i am supposed to feel sad and i am.

like i know i get jealous easily, so i just can get things going in tune when i am not feeling good. people always say taht sometimes it is best not to know everything. it is so true. i rather knew nothing. i wish i never visited that place.

you people dont have to ask what happened or why, whatever. i wont let you guys know anyway. this post is just to remind me i had been so pissed, sad, jealous in this day, when it is supposed to be happi!

maybe, or i hope i am looking too into it. so everything will turn out fine. oh please. i pray it goes the way i foresee. haha.

it is also at this moment. i reminisce one person so dear. its her, jin. i needed you. watch over me. help me get things right too. like i think of you, how wonderful if i join you now, in a place that pulls me out of all these beings. at this point in time, i see a need to make some openings on my veins. it helps. it sure do. and i am one step nearer to her.

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.the guy.
label. tan yilong
gender. boii
age. 17 years old
date. 31'st august 88
email. tylong28@yahoo
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